


What The Hell?!

by PageofD



Series: An Adventure Into DaveKat [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Humanstuck, Implied abuse, Jake is Jade's bro, Just deal with it., M/M, Oral Sex, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Vacillation, past self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 28,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PageofD/pseuds/PageofD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Karkat Vantas meets Dave Strider on the first day of school, he hates him almost immediately, but as he gets to know Strider better he realises that his hate may not be platonic.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Day Begins

I walked down hallway after hallway, scanning the locker numbers, occasionally looking at the paper in my hand, the one with my locker number and combination on it.

59… 60… 61… There. Locker 62. I spun the dial on the lock, lining all the correct numbers up. I opened the lock and swung the metal door out.

I don’t know what asshole thought highschools were a good idea but clearly they need to be shot. In fact, I’d be surprised if they hadn’t already been shot. In the half-hour I’d been here, I’d pissed off at least half the student body and determined that I knew absolutely no one at this stupid school.

I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Karkat Vantas and I just started at Sburb High. I’m short, and when I say ‘short’ I mean short. I’m about 1.4 meters tall. I also have black hair and anger management issues, but really, who cares about that stuff?

I started unpacking my bag, sorting my books into what classes they’re for. Of course, being the short fuck I was, I couldn't reach the top shelf, but there was more than enough room on the other shelves for me to fit my stuff in.

I’d just finished sorting my things and was about to close my locker when I heard footsteps behind me. Like directly behind me, not just walking past.

“Hey, short ass. Get out of my fucking way.”

I turned to see the biggest asshole ever standing there, waiting for me to move.

The scratched-disk motif on his shirt filled my vision, and I raised my eyes to see that he was wearing sunglasses. Inside. What a douche. I finished my scan of him by noting that his blond hair had so much product in it that it’d probably go up like a dead tree if someone held a match to it.

“I’m not short,” I snapped, looking up into his shaded eyes, “and if you want me to move you’ll have to be a whole lot nicer about it, douchebag.” I turned back to my locker, pretending that I still had stuff to do.

“Hey dude, no need to get nasty about it, just get the fuck out of my way.” He said, grabbing my shoulder and turning me to face him.

I glared at him, wishing I was taller and opened my mouth to retort but some guy with buckteeth and glasses interrupted.

“Hey, Strider!” he called, waving. “Striiiiideeeeerrrrrrrrrrr!” He called again when he didn’t get an immediate response.

The asshole, I guess his name was Strider, turned to the bucktoothed kid and waved.

“This isn’t over, jerkwad.” He said before walking over and bro-fisting the other guy. 

I sighed and closed my locker, slipping away into the crowd.

‘What an asshole,’ I thought to myself as I followed the flow of the crowd to the gym, where we were supposed to meet after we got our lockers.

As I took a seat I saw that kid again – Strider – with bucktooth in tow. His shades scanned the hall, appearing to stop on me momentarily and I shivered.  
Something told me I was going to see a lot more of this Strider guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short - the first couple of chapters are, but they get longer I swear they do!!


	2. A Friend Made

I sat waiting as the rest of the students filed in, searching the sea of faces for one I recognised. I soon gave up on that, though, and looked towards the front of the gym.

“Hey, ith anyone thitting there?”

I looked up and saw some weirdo wearing red and blue glasses, gesturing to the empty seat beside me.

“Uh… no. No one is.”

“Thankth.” He lisped, sitting down and pulling out a smart phone.

He put his feet up on the seat in front of him and I noticed that he was wearing one whit shoe and one black one. I shrugged to myself, whatever works for him.

“Name’th Thollukth.” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“…..Thollukth?”

“No. Th-Oll-Ukth. Thollukth.” He repeated, attempting to clarify.

“I’m sorry, I don’t…” He tapped on his phone a few times, then turned it to me, showing a single word on-screen.

‘Sollux’

“Oh. Sollux. Hi. I’m Karkat.”

He nodded to me, then turned back to what he’d been doing.

~~~

After the standard ‘Welcome to the School’ speeches and basic rules rundown, we were told we’d be split up into groups of four – three juniors and one senior – and have a huge (!!) scavenger hunt to get to know the school better.

I didn’t pay attention to most of the names as they were called, but there were a few, like Sollux Captor, the guy sitting next to me, John Egbert, Strider’s bucktoothed friend, and Dave Strider himself, which I paid attention to.

“Vantas, Karkat – Eridan Ampora.”

I stood, finally, the last name to be called, and made my way to this Ampora guy.

“W-well, I guess w-we can make the introductions now-w.” The senior looked a list of names that had been hastily scrawled on his hand. “Sollux….?”

Sollux looked up from his game.  
“Thup?”

“Okay. Cool. I noticed you w-were sittin’ next to…..” he trailed off, looking at me, clearly searching for a name.

“Karkat.” I supplied.

“Next to Karkat earlier. Do you know-w each other?”

“You could thay that I gueth.”

“Good, good. So, now-w w-we’v-ve met Sollux and, by extension, Kar. Last but not least w-we hav-ve-“

“Oh fuck. It’s you again…”

I’d finally bothered to look at the last member of the group to find Dave fucking Strider leaning against the wall.

“And it is such a pleasure to meet again, my vertically-challenged friend.” He drawled, fluorescent light glinting off his glasses.

“I’m not fucking short.” I growled.

“No. You’re just the regular garden-variety of short.” Strider smirked.

“Uh…. Sorry to interrupt but w-we kinda hav-ve to start.” Ampora stepped between us.

I gave him an once-over. His scarf and hipster glasses were stupid and the purple streak in his hair made him look like a douche. Despite that, though, he didn’t look like a bad guy.

“Ugh. Fine.” I stepped aside, letting Ampora lead us wherever we had to go.

Stupid school. Stupid Scavenger hunt. Stupid fucking Strider.


	3. A Team Lost

Three hours later and we were covered in mud and totally lost.

“I think if w-we head this w-way….” Ampora stammered.

“My Gog, are you always this fucking useless?” I could handle being muddy, I could handle being lost, but mixing the two just made me crabby.

“Couldn’t have said it better, shorty.”

“Fuck you Strider.”

“Oh, so eager to get in my pants?”

The whole trip ad been filled with gibes like this.

“Guyth. We need to go that way.” Sollux pointed to our left.

“No w-we don’t! You should follow-w me! I’m your senior!” 

“Oh, fuck off, Ampora. I have GPETH.” Sollux turned his phone to us, showing a map with a little red dot in the middle of it.

We were an hour’s walk from the school.

We headed off in the right direction, walking along small animal trails, while Ampora complained about our lack of respect.

~~~

“Hey! You three!” Ampora called. We all stopped and turned to him. “Help me! I’m caught!”

We’d been walking single file down an animal trail and Ampora’s scarf had caught on a tree branch.

I was last in line, Strider having pushed in front of me, meaning that I had to go rescue the useless senior. As I approached him he was thrashing about like a wounded wildebeest.

“Hold on,” I said, making my way to the end of his scarf. I began to detangle it, bit by bit, getting slowed by his thrashing. “Stay still. You’re just making this harder, fuckwit.”

When I finally got the stupid thing detangled Ampora fell on me as if I was his God and had suddenly appeared to him.

“You sav-ved me! Thank you! I w-will nev-ver forget this, and w-will w-worship you forev-ver!”

“HOLY FUCK! GET OFF OF ME!!”

I scrambled away from his worshipping advance only to crash into Strider.

“Hey, looks like you made a new friend.” He laughed.

“Fuck off Strider,” I responded automatically. “Just tell Sollux to keep moving.”

I turned back to see Ampora still sitting at the roots of the tree he was caught on. His face was pressed to ground and his arms were stretched out towards me.

“Get your ass up, or we’re gonna leave you behind.” I called before turning and scrambling over a log behind Strider.

As we walked I realised I didn’t really mind walking behind Strider. The hour-long trek combined with the infrequent logs across the path resulted in me having both the time and opportunity to admire the taller blonde’s body, and gog did he have a body worth admiring, not that I’d ever admit it out loud.

~~~

After another half hour of walking we reached the school. 

Ampora led us to the oval where we checked in with one of the teachers before being given time to mill around and do nothing.

It wasn’t long before Strider’s friends found us.

“Hey, Dave! Why are you covered in mud?” “Eridan! What happened?!” “My Gog, Fef, they w-were horrible” It felt like everyone started speaking at once.

“Okay everyone, calm the fuck down.” Strider raised his hands and everyone fell silent. “Yes Egbert, we’re covered in mud. Why? Because this dimwit,” he pointed to Ampora, “decided to take us in the complete wrong direction.”

“Heh, Ampora got lost. Nice job, loser,” a black-haired, blue eyed girl mocked.

“Yeah, w-well I’m sure things w-went w-wrong for you too, V-vrisk.”

“Actually, me and my team got back in record time!” She grinned.

“Gog Damnit!” Ampora slouched off to mope, a brunette wearing a bright blue and green skirt following him.

I hung awkwardly on the edges of the group watching everyone having a massive ‘meet Dave Strider’ hang out.


	4. A Boy Embarrassed

I stood back and watched as Egbert excitedly relayed his story to Strider and the group.

“See something you like?”

“HOLY FUCK WHAT- oh. It’s you, Kan.” I jumped as one of my oldest friends appeared beside me.

“Hi. Anyway, the blonde? Interested?” Kanaya was known for being direct about things.

“Who? Strider? Fuck no. He’s the most arrogant prick I’ve ever met.”

“Which is why you’ve been staring at his ass for the past 10 minutes.”

I blushed, realising that I had been staring.

“I……fuck. Okay, maybe he’s kinda cute, but he’s still a prick.”

“Who’th a prick?” Sollux joined.

“Dave Strider. But honestly, he seems alright to me”

“Yeah, but I don’t get why he’th tho popular. The dude only wearth glatheth.”

“Do you two even know each other??” I was getting over the ‘everyone disagree with Karkat’ game.

“Yes. We met just before when Sollux was telling me about how you and Dave were flirting for most of your trek.”

“Hpthfleph –WHAT!?? FLIRTING???!!!” Everyone in a 20 meter radius turned to look at the source of the outburst, including Strider and his posse.

“Yeth you were. It wath totally flirting.”

“WE WERE NOT FLIRTING. THAT WAS NOT FUCKING FLIRTING!” My face felt like it was on fire. There was no way I had been flirting…. Right? I hated the guy.

“Well from what I hear, it sounds like you were flirting.

As Kanaya said ‘flirting’, Strider turned and looked at me, at least, I think it was at me. It was hard to tell with his glasses and all. I think I blushed even more then, if that was even possible.

“Karkat, are you okay?” Kanaya leaned in front of me, placing a hand on my cheek. “You feel very warm.”

“And your fathe ith kinda red.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just….. I need to pee.” I blurted the first excuse that came to mind, running towards the school buildings.

~~~

I pushed open the door to the first guys’ bathroom I say and went straight to the sink, splashing water on my face. I straightened, looking in the mirror.

“Fuck…” No wonder Kan was getting worried. My cheeks were bright red, the rest of my face looking startlingly pale in comparison.

“You sure made a speedy exit for someone with such short legs.”

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Strider standing in the doorway.

“Fuck you Strider. I’m not short.” I turned back to the sink and splashed some more water on my face.

Just fucking perfect. Of course he was the one to show up.

“If you’re not short, how can I do this so easily?” he asked, approaching me from behind, slipping his arms over my shoulders and clasping his hands so they rested level with my  
stomach.

The colour that had just begun leaving my cheeks came rushing back. I scowled at Strider’s reflection.

“Oh, if looks could kill…” Because of the mirror, Strider could see every one of my reactions. Because of his stupid glasses I couldn’t pick a single one of his.

I spun out from under his arms, ending in a crouch at the opposite end of the bathroom.

“Fuck. You. Strider.” I growled.

“You must really want to get into my pants, Vantas.” He retorted, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a way that made my breath catch. 

His smile widened, telling me he’d heard it.

“Ah, so you do want in.”

I judged the distance between me, him and the door. I figured that, with the element of surprise I was bound to have, I should be able to make it to the door before him.

“So what if I do?” I was stalling, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

“If you do, I’d have to make sure you’re prepared. Not just anyone can get into the pants of a Strider.” He leaned casually against the sink I’d washed my face at, maybe too casually.

“And how would you do that?” I edged towards the door slightly.

“With a series of tests, of course.” He was tapping a beat against the porcelain of the sink with a finger.

I jumped for the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLYCRAPILOVEKARKATSFLIPOUTINTHISSOMUCH!!
> 
> Also, thank you for everyone who is reading this, and hopefully enjoying it.


	5. A Relationship Formed

I landed a few steps short of the doorway, leaving me enough room to swing the door open and abscond.

I reached for the door handle, but felt it get slapped away as Strider materialised in front of it.

“GAH! FUCK!!” I tried to stop, but my momentum carried me into Strider’s open arms which closed behind me, pulling my body close to his, pressing my face against his chest.

I felt my cheeks heat again, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself. The inhale was a bad idea as it meant I got a lungful of Strider scent. He smelt like puppets and apple juice, and damn was it amazing.

“Well done, Vantas,” he whispered. “You passed the first test: catch me off-guard.”

I pushed away from him, blushing furiously, even though part of me wanted to stay in his arms.

“How the fuck was that ‘passing’ it? You still caught me.” Part of my brain was screaming at me to accept the victory, and begin coming up with a way to top him for next time, but I ignored it, preferring to argue the point.

“Even when a Strider is caught off-guard,” Strider tipped his head back slightly as he spoke, as if this was something he recited frequently, “he recovers quickly, so quickly it’s almost as if he was never off-guard in the first place.” He turned, pulling the door open. “Nice talking Vantas,” he called over his shoulder. “Keep an eye out for my messages, ‘specially where you can’t see them.” He stepped through the door and was gone, leaving me to sit there in a stunned silence.

What had just happened?

I left the bathroom in search of Kanaya. I needed to talk to her.

 

_I stepped out of the bathroom, pausing to run my hands through my hair, deciding what my next move would be._

_I picked a course of action and flash-stepped my way back to the oval in search of an Egbert._

_“Hey, Jade,” I called to John’s sister._

_“Oh, hey Dave! Where’d you go?” She smiled in the same goofy way as John did._

_“That’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Wanna take a walk?”_

_The look on Jade’s face was priceless. It’s not everyday a Strider asks for advice, but this Karkat guy had shaken me badly._

 

“Hey, Kan! Can I talk to you for a moment?” I gasped, having run from the buildings to the oval.

“Yeah, sure, if Rose doesn’t mind.” She turned to her conversational partner, who nodded and smiled, taking her leave.

“Okay, Karkat. How can I help?”

“It’s this Strider kid. He’s driving me mad.”

“How so? Are you attracted to him?”

“No….. but yes….”

 

_“So, do you like him?” Jade fixed me with a green-eyed look._

_“Gog no, I hate the bastard.” I rubbed my eyes, and slipped my glasses back down._

_“But you hate him… in a good way?”_

_“Yes.” I met her eyes over the top of my glasses._

 

“What does it mean?” I was going out of my mind, not knowing if what I was feeling was normal or not.

“Well, the other night I stumbled across a page that was talking about the sort of Hate-Love you seem to be experiencing. The page called it…. ‘Kismessitude’.”

“So… other people experience this?” I sighed. I wasn’t some kind of mutant.

“Not exactly….”

“What do you mean ‘not exactly’?” I demanded.

“It is an emotion associated with a race of creatures called ‘trolls’ which feature in a popular webcomic.”

 

_“Okay. I can deal with this.”_

_I radiated cool and calm, but inside my mind was racing with the information that Jade’s Google search had turned up._

_I felt a thing that a made up race of creatures felt. Not. Cool._

 

“Would you mind if I studied your adventures into kismessitude? I think it’d be fascinating to watch a Caliginous relationship unfold.”

“Wait, who says there’s even going to be a relationship? Who says I even want a fucking kisme-whatever?”

 

_Even as I protested against the chances of the relationship occurring my mind filled with images of me battling to top Karkat, trying to force him into submission as he growled obscenities at me, digging his nails into any part of me he could reach._

  
  


“Karkat, are you there?” I heard Kanaya call.

I blushed (again) as I realised the full extent of what I’d just thought and how aroused it had made me.

“I… uh… thanks for your help.” I turned and hurried into the crowd of people milling about, waiting for instuctions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I started mucking about with the POV's.  
> Did you like it?  
> Or think it didn't work?  
> If you thought either of the above, could you let me know, and why you thought that?  
> I'd love some feedback about this.


	6. A Growl Heard

After waiting a bit longer, for more groups to return form hunting, surprisingly, we were told who our roll call teachers were and got sent to them to get our timetables.

By this point in time there was only one period left in the school day, which meant we were sent off to that class.

I went to my locker to collect my books and then onwards to my history class.

The first thing I noticed when I entered the room was that the back row was almost filled with Egbert, a girl with the same tanned skin and goofy smile as Egbert (I assumed they’re related), Strider, Kanaya and the blonde girl Kanaya had been talking to before. There was only one seat left, in between Kan and Strider.

I placed my books on the table and sat down.

“Why did you sit there?” I hissed at Kan.

“I rather thought I was doing you a favour, letting you sit next to the object of your affections.” She smiled as if laughing at a private joke. “Also, it suited my own personal plans well.”

I turned away from Kanaya and her private jokes and faced the front of the room, completely ignoring Strider, not that it changed anything. He was sitting sidewards on his chair,  
facing the Egberts, but I knew he knew I was there.

I knew he knew because when I stepped through the door, I knew that he was in the classroom before I even looked up. It felt like I was pissed off at something and the one person in the world I could take my anger out on was sitting in that back row. And I knew, by the tension in his shoulders and the way his hands unconsciously fisted and loosened, that he felt the same thing.

_I felt him sitting there, ignoring me. The worst bit wasn’t that I hated it, but the fact that I knew he hated it, and I wanted him to take that hatred out on me._

_The teacher entered the room, calling all of our attention to him, and I turned in my seat to face him. Out of the corner of my eye I examined Vantas. I noted the tension in his shoulders and arms, seeing the tightness of his fists, and the lines of anger on his face. I smiled inwardly, satisfied to know that I was, at least, partly responsible for that anger._

_An idea began to form in my mind. I just needed him to be distracted for a bit…._

_“Hey, Jade,” I nudged her to get her attention, “can you do me a favour?”_

_“Yeah! Sure,” she replied enthusiastically. Just a little too enthusiastically as Karkat shot us a questioning look._

_“Look, after class can you hold Vantas back for a bit? I need two minutes at his locker.” I outlined my plan in hushed tones, hoping Jade would understand._

_“Of course I’ll help. I’m sure John can help too, not that I’d tell him why, though.”_

_I sighed inwardly. Phase one down._

_For Phase two I pulled a page out of my note book and began to write a message in my trademark red felt-tip pen._

I scowled, trying to pay attention to the teacher, but wondering what Strider was planning.

First he’d been whispering with Egbert’s sister and now he was hunched over a piece of paper, writing on it.

I sighed angrily. I wanted to know what he was planning, more than I’d ever care to admit.

Strider finished writing and began folding the page, then tidying up the rest of his stuff.

I barely had time to question it before the bell went and Strider absconded so fast there was practically an after image.

I growled softly. Of course he just up and left.

I hurried to pack up my stuff, hoping to catch Strider before he left and…. And what?

I realised that I had no reason to want to catch up with him and yet, I did.

I growled again and moved towards the door only to be intercepted by Egbert’s sister.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Jade Harley.” She smiled and stuck out a hand for me to shake.

“I’m Karkat..” I answered warily, preparing for a trap to be sprung.

I was getting ready to side-step her, when Jade dragged Egbert into the conversation.

“John! This is Karkat. Karkat, this is my half-brother, John Egbert.”

“Hi.” I muttered, really just wanting to get out of the classroom.

“Hi Karkat! Wow, your name is funny. It kinda sounds like someone put ‘car’ and ‘cat’ together. Like a carcat. Beep beep meow!” Egbert babbled.

“How…. Fascinating.” I growled.

“Sorry about my dork of a brother. Sometimes he forgets to filter his thoughts.” Jade gave a friendly smile.

“Uh… not to sound rude or anything, but I kinda need to get home now. Well, that and everyone else is gone.” I gestured at the empty room as the timer-based lights flickered off.

“Aww… but I was having such fun getting to know you Karkles.” John said.

“Actually, we kinda need to go too. Bye!” Jade ran out the door, pulling John behind her.

“But Jade….” I heard John complain before they were out of earshot.

I spared a moment to wonder what that was all about, before shrugging it off and making my way through the near-empty halls to my locker, opening it and beginning to pack my bag for home.

I stepped back, surveying my locker’s contents, making sure I wasn’t forgetting anything, and noticed a white corner sticking over the edge of the top shelf.

I scowled at it, stepping closer and reaching up to grab it.

_After planting the paper in Vantas’ locker I’d found a position that meant I could watch him without being noticed. This meant that from the moment he got to his locker I could see his every reaction, from the look of concentration, when he was packing his bag, to the somewhat (okay, totally) adorable scowl when he noticed my note. I saw the strip of smooth, pale skin that was revealed when he reached to pull down my not, as well as the furious blush that coloured his cheeks and ears as he read it._

I couldn’t believe him. The asshole broke into my locker to leave a stupid note? What the fuck?

I growled deep in my throat, the resulting sound more animal than human.

‘When I get my hands on him,’ I swore to myself, ‘he is going to suffer.’

_After seeing his look of shock turn to another scowl (this one looked a lot more dangerous, and therefore more adorable) and hearing his delicious, inhuman growl, I made my exit, allowing a self-satisfied smile to creep onto my face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That quote in there... the 'beep beep meow'.... I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.


	7. A Call Made

I paced across my room, reached the foot of my bed, and then turned and crossed back to the door.

I wanted to punch something. I wanted to punch Strider.

I threw myself onto my bed, beginning to entertain a fantasy where I had Strider pinned, waiting for me to attack. Instead of attacking, though, I reached out, pulling his sunglasses off his face, tossing them to the side. He bucked under me, trying to throw me off.

When he failed to unseat me, he snarled.

I felt a wave of satisfaction pass over me at the fact that I had managed to elicit such a sound from him.

I was sitting on his hips, holding his hands above his head with one hand while the other absent-mindedly stroked along the hemline of his shirt.

“Get the fuck off me, Vantas. Or are you too chicken to fight me evenly?” he taunted, still trying to buck me off, but I wasn’t falling for it.

_I looked over the thin boy under me. His cheeks were flushed, but his eyes were giving me a deathglare so forceful that it might have been intimidating, if I weren’t totally in control of the situation._

_I leaned down to whisper in his ear._

_“Hey, Karkitty, how’d you like to purr for me?”_

_I ran my free hand, the one that wasn’t holding his still, down  to the hem of his shirt, lifting it slowly._

_“What the fuck kind of fetis-sh… mrrrrrr…..” He trailed, purring as I stroked up his side and across to his chest._

_He turned a darker shade of red and had such a look of shock and embarrassment on his face that I mentally snapped a photo._

_“Yeah, like that.” I grinned, even as he growled that inhuman growl again._

I woke covered in sweat that had started to dry, leaving me shivering.

“What the fuck…?” I asked myself, remembering my dream.

I shook myself and looked at the time. 3 am.

I sighed inwardly. Whelp. There goes the other four possible hours of sleep.

I got up and shuffled to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror. There was still some colour across my cheek bones, but nothing else to tell of my lewd dream, well, apart from the damp patch on the front of my boxers.

I headed back to my room and lay on my bed. I stretched out, trying to think of something to do.

I found my mind wandering to Strider, my hand reaching for the note he’d left in my locker.

I was halfway through dialling the number he’d left at the bottom of the page when I shook myself. What the hell was I thinking? There’s no way he’d be….. oh. Wait. That’s what I was thinking.

What better way to piss him off than a call at 3am?

I finished dialling and hit the ‘call’ button, holding the phone to my ear, waiting for an answer.

“Yo?” The voice was too deep to be Strider’s.

“Uh… hey. Is Stri-Dave there?” I corrected myself, realising that anyone there could go by ‘Strider’.

“Uup. One mo.” The voice said into the phone then, more distant, came “Hey, lil’ bro. It’s for you.” Then a whistle and a thud, as if the phone had been thrown and caught.

“Okay,” came Strider’s voice, “whoever the fuck this is, it better be fuckin’ good.” He was panting a bit, as if he’d been running.

“Hey, asshole, if you’re gonna give someone your number, at least be civil when you take their call.” I shout-whispered, not wanting to wake my dad.

I heard the clash of metal on metal in the silence that followed.

“Holy fuck, you actually called?”

“Damn straight I did.” I rolled myself onto my stomach, kicking my feet in the air slightly.

_“And you better fucking appreciate it.” Oh gog, I could feel his anger, even through the phone line, and it made me shiver._

_I hadn’t expected him to call, so when the phone rang in the middle of training I stopped in surprise, allowing Bro to get a hit in that knocked the breath out of me._

_“You know what Vantas?” I stood in the middle of our spare-room-turned-dojo, sword in a blocking position in one hand, phone pressed to my ear in the other, watching and waiting for Bro to attack. “This isn’t a great time.”_

_“Like fuck it isn’t!” he protested. “What the fuck could you be doing at 3am?”_

_I saw movement from the corner of my eye and turned, barely stopping Bro’s attack in time._

_“Look Karkit-kat. Karkat. I’m just doing… stuff, okay?” I blushed slightly at my slip-up, not enough to show, but enough for me to know it was there._

_“What were you going to call me?” I heard the iciness of his voice and couldn’t resist._

_“Karkitty.” I smirked to myself, missing the warning of the nest attack._

I felt the growl building in my chest.

‘Karkitty’? What the fuck kind of nickname was that?

“Strider, when I get my hands on you, you’re gonna- “

I heard the sound of plastic hitting something, the sound of the phone being dropped, I realised.

“…Dave? Dave, are you there? Come on you fuckwit, answer me.” Concern tinged my voice.

After almost a minute of silence my brain kicked up a gear, going over the conversation, piecing things together. The sounds of metal clashing, Strider’s lack of breath, his occasional grunts of exertion – he was being attacked.

Suddenly my concern changed to anger. Someone, somewhere was hurting Strider.

“Dave, who’s hurting you? Tell me, I’ll find them and beat the fuck out of them.” I was a snarling beast. How dare they touch Dave like that?

“Holy fuck dude, calm down.” Strider’s voice came weakly, as if from afar. “No-one’s hurting me.” His voice was closer this time. I assumed he’d picked the phone back up.

_I glanced over at where Bro lay, stretching out. He sat up and wiped a little blood from his mouth._

_“That was just me and Bro training.”_

_“TRAINING??” I pulled the phone away from my ear a little._

_“Yup. Training.” I half-waved over my shoulder at Bro as I headed down the hall to my room._

_“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING MUGGED!” I walked into the room, holding the phone at arm’s length as Vantas ranted._

_“Look,” I started when he paused to breathe, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t think you’d care._

_I shrugged my shirt off, one half at a time, and flopped onto my bed, wincing slightly at my muscles’ complaints._

“Of course I care!” I cried indignantly. “I thought you were being attacked for fucks sake!”

I heard him chuckle. I growled slightly. He thought this was funny?

“Hey, Karkitty, I know youre being all adorable and concerned, but I have to get some sleep in somewhere along the line, so,” he yawned, “I’m gonna leave you now. ‘Night.”

Before I could reply I was greeted by the dial tone.

I threw the phone at the wall in disgust. Fucking Strider.

I curled up on my bed and lay there, just thinking.

It wasn’t long before I found myself crying in a mix of anger and relief.

I was so fucking pissed at Strider, but glad he was okay at the same time.


	8. An Argument Started

As I walked to my locker the next morning I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of Strider.

I didn’t see him until I was about to leave my locker.

“Hey, short ass…” I turned and glared at him.

He had a slight grin across his face, and it drove me mad. I beckoned him down with a single finger.

He leaned down, angling his face towards me.

He still had that slight grin when I hit him.

 

_I stumbled backwards a few steps, more for show than anything else, but the kid had a good swing._

_“So, are you gonna tell me what that was for? Or are you just gonna stand there smiling at yourself?” I rubbed my jaw where he’d hit it. That was gonna leave one hell of a bruise._

_“What, so being an absolute ass last night doesn’t warrant that?” He was furious. Gog was it adorable._

_I stretched my arms, wincing slightly as my back stretched too. Because of this kid, I’d missed an attack last night and now my back was one huge bruise._

_I saw his anger fade away when he saw me wince, change into something like…. Concern? I guess that’s what it was._

 

I felt tears fill my eyes and I remembered how worried I had been, and I flung myself at him, pulling him close.

“How about making me panic,” I whispered as I felt his arms go around me. “Is that a good enough reason for me to hit you?”

 

_“Okay, I’ll give you that.” I laughed a little. I couldn’t help but notice how perfectly his head fitted under my chin, and how warm he was, pressed against me like this._

_He pulled out of my arms, somewhat reluctantly I liked to think, and stood back, rubbing tears from his eyes._

_I felt terrible. Yes, I wanted to piss him off, but I never wanted to make him cry._

_I pulled him close again, ignoring my body’s protests._

_“Oh gog, Karkitty. I’m sorry. I never meant to make you cry.” I buried my face in his hair._

_“About damned time you- wait, you’re apologising FOR THAT?”_

_His vulnerability changed into anger so quickly it would have given me whiplash, were I not impervious to it, one of the perks of being a Strider._

_“What the fuck else am I supposed to apologise for?”_

_“Maybe your ‘training’ bullshit last night. Who the fuck trains at 3AM??”_

_His anger and stand-offish attitude were so sexy, and I doubt he even knew it._

_“When you live with a guy who will attack you at any time of day for no reason at all but to make you ‘constantly vigilant’, then you will know who trains at 3am.”_

_I could feel the anger radiating off him, and an inside part of me was grinning like a loon at the fact it was all my fault._

_I knew by this point in the argument people were staring as they passed, by my body and mind were telling me to finish this, and come out on top._

 

I gaped at him, struggling to come up with a response.

“Pfft. Like I’d believe that.” I smirked, adding that final touch.

Inwardly I cursed myself. That was the best I could come up with? Ugh.

 

_I couldn’t take anymore. That smirk pushed me over the edge._

_I grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up against the lockers._

_“You have no fucking clue, Vantas.” I growled._

_Then I kissed him. Hard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we realise that 'growled' and 'adorable' are my favourite words to use when describing Karkat or him speaking.
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter. The next one will be up ASAP.


	9. An Injury Obtained

From the moment our lips met it was a battle of dominance.

It was all about the movement, and the controlling of it. The movement of our lips across each others, the pushing of our tongues together, the biting.

I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his hips, squeezing them as tightly as I could.

 

_I groaned slightly as his legs clasped around my hips. It hurt, but it hurt in just the right way._

_I sucked on his bottom lip gently, biting it a little. When he whimpered slightly in response, I bit harder, and harder again until he gasped and I tasted the metallic tang of blood filling our mouths._

The fucker. He made me bleed.

I locked my ankles together behind his back and fisted my hands in his hair, pulling on it, pulling his head back, breaking the kiss.

“You fucker.” I growled, my voice thick with the blood flooding my mouth. “You make me bleed.”

Strider grinned, showing his slightly bloody teeth.

Oh, it was on.

I kissed him, this time me gaining the upper hand, me making him groan as I bit his lip, me drawing blood.

Soon all I could taste was blood, but I didn’t care.

 

_My whole body was complaining. Kark’s legs were squeezing my hips viciously, the cut he’d made in my lip stung like all hell and my arm muscles were screaming at me to drop him on his ass, but I didn’t want to let go._

_“Ahem.” Someone behind me cleared their throat._

 

I glared over Strider’s shoulder at out interrupter.

“What do you want, Kan?” My voice was hoarse with lust.

I wanted more from Strider, and I wanted it now.

“One, this is not the place for this. I believe the phrase is ‘get a room’. And two, you are late for class.”

I leaned back, as far as I could while being held against a locker, and snarled.

“Fine.” I pulled Strider in for one last, slightly violent, kiss before detangling my legs and dropping lithely to the floor.

I collected my books and began following Kanaya down the hall.

Part way down the hall I turned back to Strider.

“Oh, and by the way, asshat, I hate you.”

“Hate you too, babe.” He called back, turning to his locker and showing me his middle finger over his shoulder.

 

_As I turned away from Vantas I felt the goofiest smile ever spread across my face. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control it. The worst thing – it wasn’t even ironically goofy. Something about pissing off Vantas, and being pissed off at him, just made me so damned happy._

_As I pulled books out of my locker, my tongue probed the injury he’d given me. It wasn’t as bad as I’d initially thought it to be – just a split lip that had already stopped bleeding. I’d definitely had worse._

_I made a quick stop in a bathroom on my way to class, double checking the severity of my lip and re-forming my cool-kid face. I took the time of my detour to update my tally._

_The tally was, after my update, Me: 5, Vantas: 4._

_Yesterday’s bathroom incident gave us both a point, me one for setting him off, him for catching me off-guard, then I got another for getting that growl out of him with that note. When he called, he got a point for catching me off-guard (Again. I really need to do something about that), but I got a point for making him flip out when I treated my 3am training session as an everyday occurrence(which it was). This morning the punch got him a point, as did that thing with his legs – squeezing them in just the right way – but I also got a point for drawing blood first, and for starting the sloppy make-outs._

_I washed my face quickly, then headed off to class, already planning how I was going to pull away from Kark in the tally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.... sloppy make-outs.  
> Enjoy.


	10. A Meeting Occurs

I walked away from my encounter with Strider with a literal bounce in my step.

“Someone’s happy.” Kanaya laughed a little.

“Who knew hating someone so much could make me so happy?”

“Well, when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Having someone like Dave around means you can take your stress and anger out on him in ways like,” she coughed delicately, “that display there. Therefore,” we stopped outside our classroom, “you are happier the rest of the time.”

I had to admit, what she was saying made a lot of sense.

“Oh, and by the way, you might want to check the state of your lip.” Kan offered me a little hand-held mirror.

I inspected the injury. A little swelling around a slight cut on the surface. I assessed the damage on the inside with my tongue and was surprised to note it extended further down than the external injury, and across my lip. I poked at it, trying to find out how deep it was, but could only wince at the sting of it. Gogdamned Strider.

“Is it okay?” Kanaya was looking very concerned, obviously having seen my multiple attempts, and failures, to fully evaluate the damage.

“Yeah, just a little more… stingy than I’d thought.”

“Okay. Well, shall we begin class?”

I swung the door open, stepping back to let Kanaya enter first.

In one corner there was a kid with a Mohawk playing on a Gameboy, there was some guy with clown make-up hanging from the ceiling fan, and on the tables in the middle of the room sat Jade and Kanaya’s blonde friend… what was her name? Ro.. something. Roxy? Maybe that was it.

“Hey Karkat!” Jade waved me over, and I walked towards her, not even giving a begrudging sigh.

I sat next to her.

“Hey, Jade.”

“Jade. Rose.” Kanaya nodded to the two girls.

Ah. Rose. That’s her name.

“Late comers? What are your names?”

I looked at the teacher. Some guy wearing an over-sized red jumper with black hair that was surprisingly similar to mine…. Oh fuck. I’d completely forgotten that my uncle worked at this stupid school.

“Uncle Kankri… you know me.”

“I’m sorry nephew. You’ll have to call me ‘Mr Vantas’ during school hours.”

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. Great.

“Mr Vantas , I am Kanaya Maryam.” Kanaya introduced herself appropriately and my dumbass uncle marked her on the roll.

“And you?” He turned his gaze to me.

“Oh come on. You know my Gogdamned name. You have since I was born, probably before that too.”

“Now, now, you will have to watch your language. You might trigger someone in the class.”

Oh perfect. Now he’ll talk about triggers for three hours straight.

Luckily for us, though, the bell went then, signalling the end of the period.

I wondered about the length of the class –barely 10 minutes long – as I was ushered out of the room by Kan.

“What was with that? Aren’t classes usually longer?” I asked as she led me to the next class.

“Of course. That was Roll call.”

I stopped.

“You mean you stopped my hate make-outs for ROLL CALL?”

“Yes. Roll Call is important.”

“But so are hate make-outs” I pouted.

Kanaya turned and walked back to me.

“If it will make it better, I can arrange for you and Dave to have some time together later, if you want.” She looked at me steadily.

“Okay.” I agreed.

She hugged me briefly, and then began pulling me towards class again.

“What class do we even have?” Our timetables were the same, except when I had IT she had textiles.

“Sport.”

I groaned, trying to pull away and skip he class.

“Let me go! I hate sport!” I pulled at her fingers, trying to make her let go.

I stopped still as I heard an all too familiar chuckle.

“Karkitty giving you problems?” Strider pushed off the wall he’d been leaning on.

Strider walked towards us as the halls emptied, everyone in class.

He came up behind me, putting one arm around my waist, the other hand grabbing my wrist as Kan let go.

“Y’know Karkitty,” he whispered in my ear, “you really should go to class.”

I couldn’t move, and not just because he was holding me there. I didn’t want to move, other than to turn to face him, and I sure as hell didn’t want to go to class.

“It’s not like y-you’re in class, asshole.” I stammered slightly as he slid a cool hand under my shirt.

He laughed as he heard me stumble on words, and the feel of his breath against my neck made me whimper. I couldn’t stand it. I turned to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my body to his.

I heard Kanaya cough behind me, but I ignored her. All that mattered was Strider.

He, however, met Kanaya’s eyes and, after pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, turned me and pushed me towards her.

“See ya babe.” He said before continuing to his class.

I glared after him before turning back to Kanaya.

“I think we-“ I stopped, my voice was shaking slightly. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I think we should go to class now.”

My face was red, that much I could tell, also the fact that my erection was pressing uncomfortably against the front of my jeans.

Kanaya pressed a hand to her mouth and giggled delicately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there was Kankri.
> 
> Also maybe a little Quadrant vacillation??  
> IDK.


	11. A Class Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait.  
> I'd been catching up on my buffer chapters, and wanted to write more before uploading.  
> And homework occurred too.
> 
> Enjoy.

_As I walked away from Kark I was smiling slightly. If the boy got any cuter than he was just then, I’m sure it’d be illegal. His wide-eyed look of shock, which quickly morphed into something like anticipation, was definitely deserving of a point in the tally, and an extra one for the blush that followed._

_I also awarded myself a point for that moment when he turned to me and I saw the arousal I’d caused by simply gliding my hand over his stomach. Those points brought the tally to Strider: 8, Vantas: 4_

_Okay, Vantas 5. I had to admit, at least to myself, that the whimper had done something for me._

_I jogged up the stairs as I edited the tally, heading towards the music rooms._

_I walked down the hallway and then into the right room to be assaulted by an almost-literal wall of sound._

_As I looked around I noticed that blue-red glasses kid, Sollux, dicking about with an electric keyboard, as well as a disgustingly sweaty guy beating the crap out of the drum kit, and ignored everyone else in the room as I saw Rose and headed over to her._

_She was standing, in absolute contrast to the chaos around her, playing her violin. It wasn’t until I got closer that I saw how she was managing it. She had her earphones in and, I assumed, playing music loudly._

_I tapped her on the shoulder and waved to her before heading over to the teacher._

_He sat with his feet on the table, wearing a white skin-tight shirt and skinny jeans. His hair had a similar streak to that of the senior yesterday, Ampora._

_“Uh…. “I tried getting his attention, a difficult task considering his close eyes and earphones in. I ended up having to shove him roughly before he looked up. “I’m Dave Strider. Sorry I was late Mr….”_

_“Cronus. Just call me Cronus.”_

_He seemed like a laid-back dude, but his accent startled me a little. He sounded like someone from Grease._

_“…Sure, Cronus.”_

_He grinned as if he didn’t get listened to often._

_“Well, as you can see, we’re havin’ a bit of free-play time, so grab an instrument and go.”_

_“Cool.” I nodded and turned, looking for some turntables of something. Unfortunately there seemed to be no such thing at this stupid school._

_I was pulling out my iPod, preparing some beats, getting ready to write a rap or something when Jade rushed in carrying her over-sized bass case._

_“Oh, hi Dave! I didn’t know you were in this class, which is silly. Of course you’d be in music.” She grinned widely at me and I couldn’t help but smile a little in return._

_She started talking about having roll call with ‘Karkles’, which she explained was John’s nickname for Karkitty, and how their teacher was his uncle, but I started zoning out at the first mention of Karkitty, wondering what he was doing…_

I winced and fell as another ball hit me in the side.

Why, of all the possible things to play, did we have to play dodge ball?

I knew I was supposed to move off-court, but all I wanted to do was lie on the ground.

“Come on Karkles. Get up.” The annoyingly upbeat voice of John Egbert came from above me.

“Fuck off Egbert. Leave me to die of my injuries.”

He laughed.

“Stop being so melodramatic. Just move to the seats.”

He began tugging on my arm.

“Ugh, fine.” I let him pull me up, and walked to the bleachers, before lying down again, flinging an arm over my eyes.

I just knew I was going to be covered in bruises tomorrow morning. For some reason, whenever I was forced to play dodge ball I was a ball magnet. Seriously, even the creepy-as-fuck blind girl who walked up and fucking sniffed your face was better than me.

“Okay kids. Go get out of those lame sport uniforms. Class’s over.” The teacher told us, unlocking the doors to the change rooms.

I groaned and stood up, slowly making my way to the change rooms.

When I entered I had a shirtless John fling himself at me.

“Kaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrklllllllleessssssssss!! Please tell me you have some deodorant I borrow.”

“BLUH!” I panicked as he draped himself over me and pushed him away, throwing myself backwards at the same time.

We both hit the floor, leaning back on our hands.

“…..is that a no?”

“No just…. Don’t attack me like that. You scared the crap out of me.” I stood, offering him a hand up.

He blushed a little as he took my outstretched hand.

“Sorry. I was just a little panicked. Normally I remember things like this.” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

“Geez Egbert. You’re so lame.” I gave a half-smile over my shoulder, letting him know I was joking.

“I am a bit, aren’t I?” He laughed self-deprecatingly.

I tossed him my deodorant and pulled my shirt off.

He turned away – awkwardly or considerately, I couldn’t tell – as I pulled my pants off before pulling on the jeans and long-sleeve I’d been wearing earlier.

I received my deodorant back from Egbert and shoved it in my bag. I didn’t care to re-apply in the middle of the day. I only had it ‘cause I was planning on crashing at Kan’s tonight – my dad had ‘company’ and was kicking me out.

The bell went and we finished tidying our things and left the change room.

As we left the gym, Kanaya came up behind up, draping an elegant arm over my shoulders.

“Oh, by the way Kan, can I crash at your place tonight?”

She didn’t hesitate before answering.

“Of course you may. Our door is always open to you. Is your father kicking you out again?”

On my other side, Egbert was looking confused, but he didn’t really matter at the moment and soon ran off after someone.

“Yeah,” I sighed, looking at my feet. “He’s got ‘company’ again.”

Kan pulled me closer in a comforting hug.

“Shall we have a feelings jam?”

“That’d be great. Thanks Kan.” I wrapped an arm around her, returning her hug.

“No problem, Karkat.”

I spotted Strider ahead, one arm slung lazily over John’s shoulders, his other hand outlining something in the air.

“Hold this for a moment…” I passed my bag to Kanaya and began moving closer to him.

“…to get the guy-“

“Not a homosexual, Dave.”

“Whatever. To get the girl, you need to be smooth…”

I stopped paying attention to Strider’s conversation and instead the timing of his footsteps, the way his body moved as he walked and all the other things I needed to pay attention to to get this right.

When I was sure I’d noted everything I prepared myself and pounced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm working off the voices that Octopimp/Masteryorgi does for the characters, so.. yeah.
> 
> You can check his voice acting stuff out on tindeck (http://tindeck.com/users/Octopimp) or youtube (http://www.youtube.com/user/MasterYorgi)


	12. An Ambush Fails

_I knew Kark was there, I had since he’d begun ‘stalking’ me._

_I was barely paying attention to the conversation – just saying random shit about how to be cool – instead analysing Kark’s every move in my peripheral vision._

_I heard him inhale as he pounced, and adjusted my centre of balance so I could catch him safely._

I jumped on his back, expecting him to overbalance a little, at least, but no. As my legs hooked around his body, his arms caught them, as my arms circled his neck, wrists crossing in front of his face, he lowered his mouth to nibble at the skin where my sleeves had come up, making me mewl.

He made me fucking mewl during my own ambush.

He chuckled.

“Hey Karkitty, nice to see you too.”

“Gog fucking damnit Strider.” I let go, trying to get off.

_I felt him trying to get off, but I liked the feeling of him against my back, his arms around my neck and his thighs in my hands, not that he’d ever know._

_“Nuh-uh. You ain’t getting out of this easily. Your ambush went wrong. You’re gonna have to fight to get out.”_

_I felt a rumble in his chest – a quiet growl._

_“Let me the fuck go, Strider.”_

_“And miss the chance for more sloppy-make-outs? I don’t think so.” Our conversation was now being held in hushed tones as the oblivious Egbert and Kark’s friend…. Kan-something, walked beside us, deep in conversation._

_The sharp intake of breath from Kark told me that he hadn’t considered the thought of more make-outs._

_There was a sigh of irritation, as if he couldn’t come up with a response, and then he buried his face in my shoulder, beginning to nip at the skin in a way that made it nearly impossible to keep a straight face._

_“Karkitty, not-not here.” I whispered, my voice shaking, revealing an embarrassing chink in my coolkid armour._

I heard the tremor in his voice and grinned maliciously, biting his neck a little harder, licking at the skin caught between my teeth.

He turned to Kanaya and John.

“Excuse us for a moment,” he said before bounding up the nearest set of stairs and through the closest door, closing it behind us.

He let go of me, and I dropped to the floor, before he turned and pushed me against the wall, mouth to mine.

I pulled my mouth away from his, preferring to bite my way down his neck ad he gave little half-moans.

I reached the base of his neck and, pulling his collar aside, bit his shoulder.

_I only realised what he was doing when he sunk his teeth into my shoulder. He was leaving a mark on me. I was surprised to note that I didn’t care, in fact my automatic response was to tilt my head back, giving him better access to the spot._

I bit harder as he gave me more room to work with, and heard an odd whimper come from Strider. I felt the skin part slightly under the pressure of my teeth.

I pulled back and watched in fascination as the blood welled up around the 6 points where the skin was broken.

“You whimpered.” I looked up into Dave’s flushed face.

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did. It sounded like this.” I bit his shoulder, gentler this time, and herd him whimper again.

“….okay, so what if I did?”

_I struggled to compose myself as I looked into his burgundy eyes. They sparkled, whether from arousal or something else, I couldn’t tell._

_“It was pretty fucking adorable.” A mischievous grin spread across his face._

_“Striders don’t do ‘adorable’. Hot, sexy and seductive, we do those, but not adorable.” I realised that I recognised that sparkle. It was the same one Egbert got when he had a great idea for a prank._

_He pretended to consider that for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together in concentration._

_“No…. I don’t think it was hot. Not sexy either. Definitely not seductive. Just adorable.” He nodded to himself and gave me a smug smile._

I gave Strider a smug smile, trying to push him over the edge. I wanted to fight.

Having to remember that my dad had kicked me out tonight reminded me what a douche he was and that pissed me off.

Strider was scowling at me now, and he looked prepared to attack me at a moment’s notice.

“I mean, if you don’t want to be adorable…” I started walking to the door, “I can leave you to your un-adorable-ness.”

I gave a savage grin as he attacked me, knocking me to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure what I'm even doing here anymore.  
> I'm just going with what my weird-ass brain tells me to do.
> 
> I hope this isn't too retarded.
> 
> Also, sorry about the wait for this.  
> There's also probably going to be quite a wait until the next part, I have a lot of homework and assessments coming up.  
> So... yeah.  
> I'll try and make the next one longer, or maybe a few short chapters to make up for the wait.


	13. A Past Revealed

_I rolled him over and sat on his hips, pinning his hands above his head with one of mine._

_I shook myself as I recalled a dream, much like this. There was time to think about that later._

_“You’re not going anywhere, ‘specially not now that I have you right where I want you.”_

_He bucked up against me as I ran a hand across his hemline. I slid my hand under his shirt and ran it over his smooth skin. As I rubbed his chest he made a sound that could only be described as a purr, his eyes fluttering shut. I grinned._

_“That’s right. Purr for me Karkitty,” I breathed in his ear, watching him blush._

_I brushed my lips against his neck, hearing a breathy moan escape his lips, despite the fact he was biting them, trying to keep quiet._

_I sat up, letting go of his hands._

_“Come on Karkitty. It’s no fun if I can’t hear you,” I pouted at him slightly._

….Was he pouting at me? What the fuck?

I snarled slightly. “Let me up. Let’s make this a fair fight.”

He laughed.

“Did you want me to tie my hands behind my back too?” he mocked, fingering the hem of my shirt with his hands.

Wait. Hands. Mine were free. I had a chance to turn the tables.

I bucked again, causing him to lose his balance slightly, and pushed on his shoulders with my freed hands, using his backwards momentum to pull myself up, landing on top of him.

_“Rope won’t be necessary, as long as you do what I want.” He grinned devilishly. I knew he was in control now and while part  of me was secretly thrilled to be ordered around like this, the majority of me was panicking. I was used to strifes with Bro, where losing control a little could lead to disaster._

_“Sure thing, Vantas. That is, if you can – ah!” He’d ground his hips down against me and –ohgodohgod – he did it again._

_Keep your cool, dude, keep your cool._

_“Ohh…” I moaned as he ground against me again._

_I put my hands on his hips, sliding my fingers under his shirt and rubbing the skin gently._

_“F-fuck Karkitty. That feels – ah! – d-don’t stop.”_

_“Does it look like I’m gonna stop fuckass?”_

_I opened my eyes, which I’d apparently closed at some point in time, and looked at him. His cheeks were bright red, ears too, and despite the abuse his bottom lip was receiving I could hear his breath catch with a little moan everytime he ground down._

_I realised that my face was probably just as red as his, and silently thanked god that my shades were big enough to hide the worst of it._

_As I looked at Kark, who was watching me, I absent-mindedly noted that his eyes were more of a crimson, not the burgundy I thought they were before, and his blush was brighter than it was before. In fact, a lot of things were brighter…._

_I put a hand to my face. My shade weren’t there. Fuck._

I watched his eyes widen in fear as he figured out his glasses were missing.

“Looking for something?” I grinned as he glared at me.

“Vantas, what did –Ah!” his eyelids fluttered shut as I rubbed myself against him again.

“Chill. I won’t break them, I’m taking good care of them.” I half gasped, nearing the edge of my pleasure threshold.

_“No bro. You don’t understand. Give them back.”_

_“Geez, Strider. It’s just a pair of shades.”_

_He sat still, hands resting on my chest. I almost begged him to keep grinding against me – it had felt good enough to warrant it – but I needed my shades, or at least to know where they were._

_“Ever hear of a thing called ‘sentimental value’?”_

_“What sort of sentimental value can a pair of shades hold?” he scoffed._

_“Look, when I was a kid I didn’t know anyone but my Bro, until I met Egbert, Harley and Lalonde online.” I could hardly believe that I was opening up to him like this._

_“And? What does that have to do with the shades?” He was confused, but watching me with undisguised curiosity._

_“A few years after I first started talking to Egbert, he sent me these shades for my birthday. This was a big thing for me for two reasons. One; I don’t normally get a lot for my birthday, apart from a face full of smuppet ass. Two; Egbert was the first kid my age I knew and was actually friends with. So, can I please have them back Karkat?”_

I gaped at him. Not only had he opened up to me, but he’d asked me, please and all, to give his shades back. He even used my name. Not ‘Karkitty’ or ‘Vantas’.

“I…” I pulled them out of my pocket and placed them on his face and watched as he visibly relaxed. “Sorry. I didn’t realise…” I leant down and gently brushed my lips against his.

“It’s okay,” he sighed. “You couldn’t have known.

I gave him a small smile.

We spent a moment just sitting there, watching each other, and when the bell rang I jumped, causing Strider to laugh.

“Come on Karkitty. I know you’re comfy, but we have class.”

“But Dave….” I grumbled. I didn’t want to get up.

“Also, there’ll be a class walking through that door any moment now.”

I jumped up, finding the thought of anyone walking in on this kind of… awkward.

“Okay. Let’s go.”  I reached a hand out to him and helped him up.

I had a hand on the doorknob, preparing to leave, when I felt Strider’s arms loop around my waist.

“And by the way, Karkitty, thanks for understanding.”

I smiled to myself and nodded.

“No problem.”

I opened the door and stepped into the busy hall, Strider close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And have some Dave vulnerability and the background of the shades.
> 
> Also, this is the only chapter that hasn't been proof-read thus far, so I'm sorry if it's kinda sucky.


	14. A Problem Discovered

I sat in Philosophy listening to my fucking uncle drone on about some guy who thought and therefore existed or something.

On one side of me was Kan and on my other was Strider. Beneath the table Strider had one of my hands intertwined with his. He had a habit of untangling our hands to play with my fingers before returning to just holding it after a few minutes. Sometimes I wanted to tell him to stop it, but mostly it made me feel kind of fuzzy.

I felt something against my free hand and looked to see Kanaya surreptitiously passing me a note.

> Karkat,
> 
> I Am Sorry But Earlier When I Had Said That You Could Stay With Me Tonight I Had Forgotten That We Have… Family Matters To Deal With Tonight, So You Will Not Be Able To Stay.
> 
> I Am Sorry.
> 
> Perhaps The Dashing Mr Strider Will Take You In.

I looked over at her and she smiled apologetically, mouthing ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay.’ I mouthed back, before pulling a sheet of paper from my notebook.

_I was playing with Kark’s hand when he nudged me, passing a piece of paper to me._

_I looked at him quizzically, opening the note when he inclined his head at it._

> _Hey. Ideally I wouldn’t even be asking you about this, I’d already be sorted for this, but things have come up with Kan._
> 
> _Anyway… I kinda need a place to crash tonight and I was wondering if I could maybe crash at your place?_

_I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, seeing how he was staring forwards intently, though I knew he wasn’t paying attention to the teacher._

_I wrote a reply, passing the note back to him._

I received the page back from Strider and felt him pick my hand up again.

I was about to pick up the note when it was snatched up.

“Passing notes in class, Karkat? Surely you know better.”

I looked at my douchebag uncle.

“Kan- Mr Vantas, can I please have that back? It’s kind of important.”

“I shall determine if it is important or not.”

He flipped it open, paling slightly as he read it.

“Give it back, please.” I demanded.

“A word outside, please.”

My eyes widened in shock. What had Strider written?

I gave him a sidewards glance as I was led from the room and he looked slightly shaken, although he was hiding it behind a mask of amusement.

I was shoved from the room and heard the door click shut.

“Nephew, what is the meaning of this?” Kankri brandished the note in my face.

“The meaning of what?” I replied petulantly.

“You need somewhere to stay? Why? Are you attempting to run away?”

“What? Hell no.” He opened his mouth to speak, no doubt about triggers, but I continued before he could. “If I tried to run away Dad’d hunt me down and kill me.”

“Then why-?”

“He kicked me out.” I looked at the floor. I hated telling anyone about this. It was hard enough having Kan know.

“I…” His voice softened. “You know if you need to, you may stay with me. I made a promise to your mother that I would look out for you.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I can sort this out myself.”

The bell rang and I grabbed the note from his hand, heading back into the room to get my books.

I dodged Kan and Strider’s questions as I scooped up my books and absconded the fuck out of there, wanting to be alone.

_It took me all of three seconds of seeing Kark’s face to be worried, then three minutes of searching before I found him._

_I’d searched the area around his locker as well as all of the guys’ toilets before thinking of the room we were in before._

_I knocked on the door softly._

_“Karkitty? You in there?” I heard a sniff and took it as a yes._

_I turned the handle and stepped inside, my eyes instantly going to the huddled figure in the corner._

_“Go away Strider.” His voice was hoarse._

_“Can’t do that I’m afraid.” I sat down next to him, putting an arm ‘round his shoulders._

_I felt him stiffen for a moment before relaxing into me._

_“Why not?” He grumbled, even as he pulled himself closer to me._

_“I can’t leave a damsel in distress. It’s not very chivalrous.” I felt him laugh slightly._

_“So now I’m a damsel in distress?” He looked up at me, his eyes turning red from crying. I wanted to ask about it, but saved my curiosity for later._

_“No. You’re my damsel in distress.”_

_I pulled him closer, cradling his head against my chest. It only took a moment for his to begin hugging me back._

I sighed as I settled into Dave’s arms, feeling safe and content.

I yawned and my eyes slid shut. I hadn’t slept well last night and it was catching up to me now.

I snuggled against his chest as I felt him running his hands through my hair, a soothing gesture that made it all too easy for me to fall asleep.

_I felt a continuous rumble in his chest – a purr – and smiled. He really was like a cat. Soft, warm and cuddly one moment, snarling and vicious the next._

_I ran my fingers through his hair, marvelling at how soft it was, despite its rats-next appearance._

_Soon his purr dropped off and was replaced by a soft snore._

_I would have happily sat there and watched Karkitty sleep all day, were it not for the fact that my body chose that moment to start a loud complaint that it hadn’t been fed yet._


	15. A Nap Inturrupted

_I sat there for a few minutes, just holding Kark as he slept, wishing my stomach would shut up._

_I’d tried waking the boy, but he was a heavy sleeper._

_“Hey, Karkitty…” I shook his shoulder, trying to wake him again. “Come on you douche, wake up.” I shook him harder, but he just grumbled and rolled over, nuzzling into my chest._

_Well. I wasn’t going anywhere soon._

_I pulled out my phone and sent a quick message to Jade._

> _Yo, Harley, can I get you to do me a favour?_

_A few moments later I nearly dropped my phone as my message tone sounded loudly. I turned it to silent before reading the message._

> _Sure thing Dave! How can I help?_

_I craned my head to see the room number before sending my reply._

> _Can you grab me some food? And bring it to me? I’m in room 112._

_I began playing with Karkitty’s hair again while I waited for a response._

_He began tossing and turning in his sleep, as if having a… daymare? And I began rubbing his back gently. It seemed to help as he relaxed again, his head now resting in my lap._

_My phone buzzed in my hand and I looked at the new message._

> _No Dave! Get your lazy ass up and get your own food!_

_I sighed. Of course she thought I was just being lazy._

> _No, Jade. I got a totally adorable Kat sprawled across my lap. I don’t wanna wake him._

_I sent it off, hoping she understood what I’d said._

_“Dave…” I heard Kark mutter._

_Huh. Maybe he was awake after all._

_“Yeah babe?” I looked down at him and saw he was still asleep._

_Ah. So he’s a sleep talker._

_“But Daaave…” he whined, pouting a little in his sleep._

_That pout was so adorable; I just had to capture it._

_I took a photo with my phone and was setting it as the background when I received another message from Harley._

> _Yeah right. Like Karkles would fall asleep on you!_

_Ugh. Sometimes I hated her._

> _No, I’m serious. I’ll send you a pic._

_I thought about sending the adorable sleep-pout, but decided to keep it for myself and took another photo and sent it._

_I found myself rubbing Kark’s back again, even though he was sleeping peacefully._

_His purr started up again and I let a small smile show on my face. This was nice. I liked this._

_I few minutes later I heard a soft knock on the door._

_“Yeah?” I called softly, not wanting to wake Kark._

_Jade stepped through the door and almost squealed when she saw the pure adorableness that was the sleeping Kark._

_“Sh-sh-sh. Don’t wake the ‘Kat.” I said, pressing a finger to my mouth._

_When he slept he looked like a different person to his waking self. There were no scowl lines, which I’m assuming are usually a permanent feature, and I could almost tell what he was dreaming about by the expressions that crossed his face._

_Jade’s eyes were wide with excitement and she had the biggest grin ever on her face._

_“Ohmygosh Dave, that is just the cutest thing!”she practically squealed._

_Karkat murmured a compliant, nuzzling into me like he was trying to hide from the noise. Unfortunately, because his head was in my lap, he was nuzzling directly into my groin._

_I let out a squeak at the unexpected pressure and Jade burst out laughing._

_“I can’t – What even was that – hahahahaha!”_

_Kark stirred and I glared at her through my embarrassment, though she couldn’t tell because of my shades._

_“What the fuck is going on?” Kark said groggily, sitting up and glaring at Jade, who was sprawled on the ground, still laughing._

_“See Jade? Now you woke Karkitty. Not cool.”_

_She stopped laughing and looked at me._

_“Did you just call him ‘Karkitty’?” She started laughing again, twice as hard._

_“I think you broke her….” Kark said, giving me a bemused look._

_“Technically it’s your fault.” I said as he raised an eyebrow._

_“How is it my fault?”_

_“Well… while you were sleeping you ended up in my lap, and then when Jade turned up, she was kinda loud, and you began trying to hide in me,” he raised his other eyebrow, “Y’know, like you hide your head under a pillow when you’re trying to sleep in a loud room?” He nodded his understanding. “Anyway, you nuzzled into me, but because your head was in my lap, well,” I cleared my throat slightly, “And I may or may not have been surprised and may or may not have made an… undignified noise.”_

_“An ‘undignified noise’?” And there went his eyebrows again._

_“He squeaked!” Jade called from where she was still laughing._

_“You what?” A grin spread across Kark’s face._

_“I didn’t squeak.” I stated._

_“Oh my god. You did!” He looked at me incredulously._

_“Did not!” I could feel my face heating up beneath my shades._

_“You so did!” Called Jade again._

_“Not helping, Harley.” I shot back._

_Kark pulled himself into my lap and looked at me steadily._

_“I bet you did, and I bet it was totally adorable.” He said, pressing his forehead against mine._

_“What did I say about Striders and ‘adorable’?” I said threateningly._

_“Okay. I’m sure it was the manliest sound you’ve ever made and it was so seductive that if I’d been awake at the time we wouldn’t be wearing clothes right now.”_

_He only managed to keep a straight face for three seconds before he fell backwards laughing, his legs still wrapped loosely around me._

_I couldn’t help but give a small laugh at his mirth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys ready for some massive OOC stuff in the next few chapters?  
> 'Cause there's gonna be a lot, but only 'cause I got kinda carried away with the fluff and then I was having too much fun writing it to care, but I'll get back in character ASAP.


	16. An Internal Monologue Had

_As Kark continued laughing I found myself laughing more. He was usually so serious that his laughter and happiness were contagious._

_“You done laughing yet?” I poked Kark in the side._

_“Argh! Nooooo!” He laughed more as he squirmed away from my touch._

_“Ah. A ticklish Kitty, I see.” I didn’t care what Harley or Kark thought as I pounced on him, holding him in place by sitting on his hips, and reached down to tickle his sides._

_“Ah! Nononono! Stop It!!” He cried, thrashing about underneath me._

I gasped for breath desperately between laughing fits brought on by Dave’s fast hands.

“Ah! Daaaaave!!” I was kicking my legs, trying so hard to get him off, to get him back.

“Yes Karkitty?” He grinned, looming over me, still tickling.

“Can’t… Breathe..” I gasped.

“That’s the best bit, though.” He pouted, raising his hands and sitting back. “You’ve got two minutes to breathe.”

I drew breath into my lungs in gasps and pants.

I watched Dave, his glasses slightly skewed, cheeks red and breath coming in short pants too.

“Yo, Harley.” He called to Jade, who was sitting in a corner, watching us with a sort of fascination. “Did you actually end up bringing me any food?”

“Oh! Yeah!”

She pulled out a slightly squashed sandwich and tossed it to Dave.

He caught it and smoothly removed the plastic wrapping – an action that instantly made me jealous – and, without asking what was in it, shoved it in his mouth and chewed twice before swallowing it – a feat that amazed me.

“Didja bring anymore?”

Jade sighed and facepalmed.

“Teenage boys…” she shook her head.

“Oh, by the way Karkitty,” he grinned at me wickedly, “time’s up.” And then he was tickling me again and I was back to thrashing under him.

“Daave!!” I yelled. Okay, maybe shrieked was a better word for it.

He looked at me over his shades and winked before he pushed my shirt up, gathering it around my ribs, and lowered his mouth to my stomach.

There was a split second where I was able to think ‘Oh fuck no’ but then he was blowing against my stomach.

“ACK! DAVE!!!” I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe and it seemed I couldn’t say anything but variations of ‘No’, ‘Stop’ and ‘Dave!’ but I found I was having way too much fun to care.

_I paused to regain my breath and survey my handiwork._

_Kark’s shirt was bunched up around his ribs, showing the smooth, pale, skin of his stomach. It was weird. He has such a slim body, but it was packed with muscle. His face was bright red and although his brow was creased in a scowl, the corners of his mouth were pulled up in a grin to rival Jade’s._

_“You finished, Dave?” He asked and I shivered at the delicious sound of my name on his lips._

_I had a sudden urge to kiss him, to ravish his lips with mine, and make him cry my name in pleasure, but Jade was right there._

_Goddamned oblivious cockblockers._

_“Yeah… for now, I guess.” I winked at him as I let him up._

_“If you so much as think about trying that in the middle of class, so help me I will make you pay.” He was still scowling, but I couldn’t take him seriously as he crawled into my lap and wrapped his arms around me._

_“Sure you will.” I replied, rolling my eyes and tucking his head under my chin._

_Jade was looking at me, a look of utter confusion on her face, but I tried to ignore her as I enjoyed Kark’s warmth in my lap._

_He was sitting sidewards, legs dangling over one of mine, head buried against my chest as his arms hugged me with a force that was bordering on being painful. I could feel his every breath, the slight pressure of his exhales against my chest. I felt happy. I also felt safe, as if everything would be fine. As long as I had Karkat beside me._

_I was surprised by this. I’d never felt safe like this. Sometimes, when I was hanging out with Jade or Rose, I felt something close, but never with John, who could pull a prank on you at any second, and definitely not with Bro, where getting a glass of aj in the middle of the night could turn into me wading through piles and piles of smuppet ass, only to get to the fridge and find we had no aj left._

_But here I was. This kid had come along and not only had he changed everything I thought I knew about relationships, but he’d also made me feel safe, something no-one had done before._

_I buried my face in his hair and tightened my grip on him._

_And yeah, maybe I did press a gently kiss to the top of his head, but who cares?_

As I crawled into Dave’s lap he welcomed me, wrapping his arms around me as I did the same to him.

I could feel his heartbeat, feel it speed up as I settled myself and then resume a steady pace as we sat there.

I let my eyes slide shut and let myself be overwhelmed by the feel of Dave around me. The feel of his body warmth against my side, the little tuneless hum – so quiet I don’t think he knew he was doing it – and that strange smell of puppets.

I sat there, contemplating whether I should let myself fall asleep again, and relaxed.

I’d never felt this relaxed since before my mum had… gone. Since then my dad had turned to drink and had a new ‘friend’ over every other night. There were some nights when he planned ahead and kicked me out, but other nights I lay in bed, trying not to hear the moans coming from across the hall. It always had me on edge, tense and stressed like I was gonna explode.

But now here I was, about as tense as an empty balloon. I don’t think I could have shouted or been mad at anything, even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t.

“Uhm… Dave…?” Jade began hesitantly. I felt Dave look up. “Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside?”

I turned and gave her a look that said ‘bitch, please. Does it look like I’m gonna move anytime soon?’

She giggled a little at my expression, but soon turned back to Dave.

“Yeah, Sure.” I made a protesting noise, and looked at him disbelievingly.

“But Dave!” I complained.

“I’ll be out in a moment.” He said to Jade as she stood, stepping out and closing the door behind her. “Okay, Karkitty,” he began, brushing the hair out of my eyes, “Why don’t you want me to talk to Jade?” He looked at me steadily, meeting my gaze over the rim of his shades.

“I’m comfortable here.” I pouted.

He laughed.

“I won’t be long, okay?” He kissed my forehead gently before shunting me inelegantly to the floor.

“Hey!”

“Sorry Babe.” He called as he left, not at all sorry.

I smiled a little and lay back on the floor, waiting for him to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gog... the internal monologues.  
> .....I'm not sorry.


	17. In Which Karkat Argues With Himself Internally. (And i give up on my previous chapter title system)

I stared at the ceiling and pondered my apparent relationship with Dave. Although it had initially seemed to be that kisme-whatsit that Kanaya had talked about yesterday, not it seemed more like a normal relationship. I mean, yes the kiss this morning had been slightly unorthodox, but the scene just then could have been straight from one of my romcoms. The protagonists diffuse the sexual tension through some ridiculous childish action while the best friend watches in amusement. The only thing was that this usually occurred after weeks, or months of a relationship. Not a day and a half. That's assuming there even was a relationship.

I began to panic as I realised that I didn't even know if Dave was serious about this or not. What if he didn't want a relationship? What if he just wanted causal sex?

'Ohgodohgodohgod he just wants my body. He just wants me for sex.'

I began to hyperventilate a little.

'Okay, dipshit. Calm the fuck down. You're in highschool, for fuck's sake. He's not gonna want casual sex in high school. And besides, who would want you for your body, when they can't even see it?'

I looked down at myself. Loose jeans, barely held up by my belt, and an over-sized black turtleneck. There was no way he'd be able to even guess at the shape of my body under this. I took a few deep calming breaths.

'But he pulled my shirt up before…..'

'And all he'd be able to tell is that you're too skinny.'

I grumbled as the voice in the back of my head won the argument.

'Okay, fucktard. I know that, no need to remind me.'

I began to roll over, finding a place to get comfortable to wait 'til Dave came back, but half way through my (amazing) barrel roll, I heard something crinkle in my pocket.

"What the..?" I muttered as I pulled it out.

I was now holding a single sheet of notebook paper, folded into eighths. It didn't take a genius to work out that it was my note to Dave from class. I recalled that I'd never actually read his reply. As I unfolded the page to read it I was expecting 20 questions about why I needed a place to crash tonight.

What I got caught me unawares.

> I assume that if you wanted me to know what's going on, you'd tell me.
> 
> But there'll be time for that later.
> 
> As well as sloppy make-outs. Definitely sloppy make-outs. That's a thing that's happening now.
> 
> Definitely.

I grinned slowly as I began to understand. Of course Dave would make it as hard as possible to understand what he was saying, but it seemed to be a yes.

I laughed a little in relief. I was going to have somewhere safe to sleep tonight. Phew.

There had been times, before I met Kanaya, that I'd had nowhere to go when my dad kicked me out. These times had often ended with me huddled in a corner of the stairwell of our building. It was always freezing cold, but it beat being on the streets. Sometimes one of the other tenants would decide to take a stroll down the stairs, and they tried to kick me out. Normally I'd let them, then just use my key to get back in. Luckily for me, I wasn't going to face that tonight.

The one thing that concerned me about this arrangement were the make-outs. I didn't mind them on their own, but I didn't know how far Dave wanted to take them.

I knew I'd have to talk to him about this before we left school, or we'd get to his place and I'd do whatever he wanted me to, not because I wanted to, but out of gratitude, and I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want to regret anything that happened tonight.

I stretched out as I resolved to talk to him about it, no matter how awkward I found it, and had just found a comfortable position when the bell went.

I groaned. Of course that was gonna happen.

Dave opened the door and stepped in.

"Come on Karkitten. Time to go." A soft smile was spread across his features.

"'Karkitten'? Seriously?" I looked at him incredulously.

"I was just trying it out, but I guess you don't like it. I'll just stick to Karkitty, then, but either way, we have to go." He began making his way over to help me up.

"Either way, I don't wanna go. And 'Karkitty' sounds just as stupid." I said petulantly.

"But, the sooner we get to class, the sooner class ends, the sooner we get home and the sooner make-outs can begin."

I grumbled as I let him help me up.

"Okay, fine." He pulled me over to the door. "Also, I wanted to talk to you about…" I trailed off as he stepped into the crowd and all but disappeared, the only sign of him being the pale blond hair that was heading in the opposite direction to the flow of the crowd. "…God fucking damnit." I growled before stepping into the crowd myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Karkat, you so insecure.
> 
> Ugh. Sorry if this sucks. I had a lot of trouble writing it, but the next one will be better. I swear.


	18. In Which A Pirate Is Fought Over

When I saw History on my timetable I wasn’t particularly thrilled, mostly because of the dull sod we had yesterday, but it turns out that he’d been a substitute.

Our proper teacher was a young woman, seemingly fresh from uni, who wore horn-rimmed glasses. She introduced herself as Aranea Serket before she began to mark the roll, taking a little time to talk to each student as she called their name.

She told John that her sister, one Vriska Serket, had spoken about him all afternoon yesterday, causing him to blush and Dave to snigger. She said she liked Rose’s surname, Lalonde, and asked about its origin (France, of course), complimented Kanaya on her ‘gorgeous Arabic colouring’ and slim figure, and, when it came to me, she talked about how she admired my uncle. I groaned.

Soon enough the roll was marked and she started talking about Ancient Rome.

For the first time in my schooling career I found myself actually paying attention during History, which was particularly impressive as I don’t care for the ancient civilizations.

Aranea had this energy around her, one that told us she loved what she was doing and she wanted us to like it too.

I was so engrossed in what Aranea was saying about Caligula and the other mad emperors of Rome that when Dave pressed a note into my hand I only shot him a quick glare before returning my attention to Aranea.

As I turned away I saw the corner of his mouth turn up in a smirk.

As I listened to Aranea time passed quickly, and soon there was only 10 minutes left. I guess it’s true when people say that time flies when you’re having fun.

“Okay now, everyone. I have a year 12 student who didn’t complete their last assignment last year who’s going to come in now and present it to you.”

Everyone shifted in their seats, muttering complaints as they realised that they weren’t going to hear any more about the mad emperors.

“Quiet everyone” Aranea called as the year 12 stepped through the door.

I was pretty sure it was the younger Serket, based of the similarities in their looks, and any doubts I had were erased when Egbert spoke.

“Hi Vriska!!” he waved and gave her a big buck-toothed grin.

“Heeeeeeeey John.” She called back, wiggling her fingers at him. “What’s been happening?”

“Vriska…” Aranea cut in, “You’re here for your assessment, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” She retorted before launching into a long-winded description of pirating in the 18th century.

She didn’t have the same overall energy as her sister and her enthusiasm peaked as she began talking about the ‘pirate garb’, which she spent most of her presentation talking about.

Serket hadn’t finished when the bell when and began shouting at the class when they started packing up.

“You ungrateful bastards!! I’m teaching you the most interesting and factual things you’ll learn all year!!”

I snorted at this. I’d believed everything she’d been saying until she started talking about the ‘lucky dice’ that some pirate called Mindfang had used in combat. Like hell that was real.

“Think that’s funny, do you?” She asked aggressively as I shoved things haphazardly into my pencil case.

“Uh, yeah. Like someone would attack with a set of dice. How would that even work?” She shifted her weight onto her left foot, placing her hand on her right hip as she raised her eyebrows at me.

“They weren’t just any only dice, you know.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I forget to mention they were her eight lucky d8s?” I asked, voice dripping with condescension. I couldn’t believe that she believed this bullshit.

“You little – “she glared and jumped for me, words turning into inarticulate sounds of anger.

“Woah there, Vriska!” John pounced quickly, grabbing her around the waist, holding her back.

“LET GO OF ME YOU FUCKER!!” she struggled against John’s arms.

“Time for us to go, I think.” I heard Dave whisper from behind me.

“Yeah.” I grabbed my pile of stuff and we headed to the door.

“See ya Egbert, Harley.” Dave called, waving to John, who was still holding Vriska, and Jade, who was standing in the corner, trying not to laugh. They called a farewell back to him.

I turned to say goodbye to Kanaya, only to realise she wasn’t in the room. I shrugged, figuring she’d already left.

“’Bye Harley.” I called to Jade. “Same to you too, Serket.” I said, pulling a face at her.

I laughed as I heard her send a torrent of insults at me as Dave and I left.

We walked down the hall side by side, occasionally parting to let another student past. As we walked we passed Kanaya. She was in a hurry and barely had time to say goodbye and kiss my forehead maternally before she ran off.

As we rounded a corner in the hall I bumped into Rose and was forced to stop as Dave started a conversation with her.

I didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation so I stood and observed. I noticed that Rose had a slight flush along her cheekbones, as well as a slight smear of lipstick just above her lips – a peculiar shade of greenish-black, the same colour that Kanaya often wore.

I mentally filed that observation away to ask Kanaya about later.

As I mused over this, Dave had said his farewells to Rose and was continuing our passage down the hall. I had to run to catch up with him, and did so just as he reached his locker.

I passed to mine and began packing my bag, looking at my timetable for tomorrow and working what that meant I had to do before then. I made a stack of the books I needed, in size order, of course, and began struggling to fit them in around my laptop and clothes.

“You done yet?” I turned to Dave whose bag had sharp corners sticking out everywhere, a clear display of his bag packing skills.

“Unlike some people, I take time and pack my bag neatly.” I said, looking at him pointedly.

“Right. Well, I’m going now, so if you wanna know where you’re gonna be staying tonight…. I’d suggest you hurry up.” He pivoted on his heel and walked back ‘round the corner.

“Fuck.” I shoved the rest of my stuff into my bag before slamming my locker shut and running after him.

“Strider! Wait up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has been going essentially nowhere for the past... 10 or so chapters.
> 
> Next chapter: Dave takes Karkat home and he'll meet Bro.


	19. In Which Karkat Meets Bro

_I watched Kark’s face as he took in the little, slightly broken down, house in front of him. He accepted it readily, even though it looked pretty crap from the outside. It was much better on the inside._

_“Welcome to the Casa de la Strider. I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s pretty kick-ass on the inside.”_

_“It’s still better than my place.” He grumbled softly, looking down and kicking his feet in the dirt. “Are you sure I can stay here? Your bro’s not gonna mind?” He bit his lip and looked at me worriedly._

_“Yeah. Bro won’t care.” I stepped up onto the sinking porch and slid my key into the lock. “In fact, he’ll probably have a few smuppet piles ready for you, to give you a proper Bro Strider welcome,” which would probably be best to not receive, I thought, opening the door and cutting in front of Kark as he tried to step in._

_“HEY! WHAT THE FUCK-“_

_“Shh… I gotta make sure Bro’s not doing anything too weird. You don’t want a Bro Strider welcome.”_

_“But you just-“_

_“Yeah, I know. But trust me. You don’t want one.” I shuddered as I recalled that one time I’d come home to see Bro fucking some guy in the living room with the nose of one of his smuppets. Suffice to say that those things have creeped me out twice as much since that day._

_Kark started on some angry rant, but I wasn’t paying attention as I edged down the hall towards the living room, signalling that he should wait at the door._

_I stuck my head ‘round the corner, eyes prepared to snap shut at the vaguest shape of a smuppet ass. Luckily there was no such thing, so I stepped cautiously into the room, automatically on guard looking for a trip wire, Lil’ Cal or anything that Bro would usually leave to forewarn me. He was kinda cool like that._

_When I deemed that the kitchen/living area was safe I beckoned Kark over from the door way._

_He stopped next to me, mouth opening to deliver some angry message, but I placed my hand over his mouth, making the words sound like ‘mmf mfkr’._

_“Hey Bro…” I called warily, ignoring Kark momentarily. Normally I wouldn’t do this, any friend I had over would have to learn about the perils of the house on their own, but Kark wasn’t just a friend._

_I saw a flicker of movement in my peripheral vision and turned to it slowly._

_Lil’ Cal was now seated atop the massive TV filling the far wall, his empty glass eyes looking into mine._

_“Bro. I know you know that I’ve got a friend here. Anything you have planned – get rid of it.” I figured he wasn’t going to, but it was worth a try._

_There was another movement near Cal. His head was now tilted to the right and he held a piece of paper._

**“Why?”** _it read._

_“’Cause I hate it when you creep my friends out.” I stated._

_I saw that Kark was looking at me like I was insane. Chances are that he didn’t even notice Lil’ Cal’s appearance, or thought that I was just messing with him._

_I looked back to Cal and was unsurprised to see the words on the paper had changed._

**_“_ ** **Normally you use this as a test of their friendship. Are they willing to put up with your crazy Bro to be friends?”**

_“Yeah, but this one’s different.” Laughter seemed to emanate from the walls. “He needs to stay here tonight.” I explained, getting a little over this shit._

_More laughter._

_“Ugh. Fine. I’m ollying outie.” I gestured to Kark to follow me as I began the walk down the hall to my room._

_Part way down the hall I saw a trip-wire spanning the width of the hall, lit by the afternoon sunlight streaming through the bathroom window and door. I automatically stepped over it and continued on my way. A second later I turned to warn Kark, realizing that he wouldn’t think to step over it, or, likely, even see it._

_“Watch the trip -“ I heard a soft twang as his foot caught on the wire, sending him sprawling into the path of the trap, or it would have, if I hadn’t have jumped at him, pushing him backwards as a rain of smuppets fell on me. Fuck._

_From my position, deep in the pile of smuppets, I heard Bro laugh again._

_“Go fuck yourself, Bro.” I called at his closed door, where he was most likely holed up, as I fought my way out of the pile._

_“I already am, lil’ man.”_

_I groaned. I did not need that mental image. Ever._

_Kark looked at me, utterly horrified and made a sort-of choking noise._

_I began helping Kark over the pile._

_“Just ignore him. He’s a prick.” I said to Kark, pitching the last sentence so Bro would hear._

_I finished getting Kark over the pile and reached my door. I opened it and jumped back quickly, expecting more smuppets. When there were none I looked into the room suspiciously._

_“BRO! WHAT THE FUCK?!”_

_He was sitting at my desk, pants ‘round his knees, one hand on the computer mouse, the other palming his erection._

_“I did warn you, lil’ man.” He said calmly, not even looking at me._

_“What’s going on?” Kark tried to stick his head into the room._

_“Nope, I am not having you scarred for life.” I said, pushing him backwards._

_“What? I wanna-“_

_“No. You do not want to see, understand?” I pulled my shades off and eyed him forcefully._

_I don’t know if it was the force in my voice or the fact that I’d taken off my shades, but he acquiesced, giving a quiet ‘okay’._

_I relaxed a little after that, rubbing my eyes furiously as if that would remove the imaged of the past minute._

_No one needed the image of their Bro masturbating in their desk chair floating around their mind._

_Of course, the instant I took my eyes off Kark he edged past me and towards my room._

_I caught him just before he stepped through the door._

_“Are you sure you want to do that?” I looked at him levelly._

_“Yes.” He deadpanned in return._

_“Okay then.” I realized my shades were still sitting atop my head. I slid them down to cover my eyes. “Your funeral.”_

_I stepped back and let him, waiting for the cry of horror and him running out to seek comfort in my arms._

I stepped through the door into an average teenagers room. There were posters on the walls, a bed in one corner with card suit sheets, a set of turntables in another and a computer desk in the last corner. At the desk sat a guy who essentially looked like an older Dave.

His hair, what little of it could be seen from under his hat, was a darker blonde, his skin more tanned and his hsades were weirdly pointed, but he could easily have been Dave in ten years time.

I scanned the room again and saw nothing that could have triggered Dave’s flip out earlier, other than the man at his desk, but he was just playing some shitty browser game.

“Uh… hi.” I said, unsure how to approach him.

“Yo.” He paused the game and swivelled the chair to face me. I got the strangest feeling that behind his shades his eyes were raking my body.

“I… uh… I assume you’re Dave’s bro…” I began, fighting the urge to cross my arms over my chest or something.

“Yeah. Name’s Dirk, But you can just call me Bro.”

“Okay…. Bro?” I semi-asked.

He nodded approvingly.

“He learns quickly. Better than that Egderp kid.” He said over my shoulder to Dave, who was now leaning against the doorway.

“What about that guy you always Skype with? ‘Oh Mr Strider’.” He put on a faint British accent.

“I’ll have you know that’s part of Jake’s gentlemanly charm.” Dirk protested.

“Wait… ‘Jake’ as in Jake English?”

Dirk nodded almost imperceptibly.

“As in Jade’s brother Jake?” Dave asked incredulously.

Another nod.

“Wow. I didn’t know you two were still dating. I thought you broke up after the… thing.”

A look of sadness flitted across Dirks face.

“We did, but… we worked it out.”

Well, I was officially lost.

“Anyway, get the fuck out of my room, Bro.” Dave said after a moment, a layer of softness beneath the shell of anger.

“Sure thing, lil’ man.” He said, stepping out the door. “But remember, Dave, don't make a mistake, muzzle your snake.” He called, throwing a box of condoms over his shoulder.

They hit my head and I basically flipped the fuck out trying to get them away from me.

“Agh! Dave!” I cried as I fell, tripping over one of the puppets from before, flailing for something to grab onto.

“Chill dude. They’re only condoms.” He was laughing at me internally, I just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jegus, I am so sorry about all the preamble. I swear I will get to things like conflict and sexy time soon.
> 
> How soon? I hear you ask.
> 
> How does next chapter sound? Once KK gets over his irrational fear of condoms.
> 
> ...Is there a word for that? I'm gonna google it.
> 
> The answer is no. There is no word for it.
> 
> Ah well.
> 
> See you all next chapter.
> 
> Also~~  
> I got a tumblr which you can use to ask me questions about this, or just to stalk my infrequent and likely boring posts.  
> Here we go: http://www.pageofblaze.tumblr.com/


	20. In Which Dave Finally Gets Some

_I watched as Kark flailed on the floor, desperately trying to get up. He'd fallen on his back, on top of his packed bag, and was now struggling against the shape and weight of it._

_"Hey! Douchecanoe! Help me up!" he called furiously._

_"Hmmm…." I pretended to consider it as I shucked my messenger bag. "Nah, it's more amusing watching you try to get up on your own." He glared at me. "Oh, by the way, the condoms are under your ass." I grinned as his flailing reached a new level of panic._

_"Fuck you Strider!"_

_"Duh, dude. That's what they're for." I received a middle finger as I slumped on my bed, pulling my iphone out to browse the net, not wanting to sit at my desk after Bro… well… some things don't need to be relived._

_I soon ran out of my usual sites to check and opened the Pesterchum app, wondering if anyone was available._

_Most of the chumhandles listed were greyed out, Jade and Jake being the only hi-lighted ones. I knew this meant that Jake and Bro were talking, so I wasn't going to disturb them. Just as I was going to open a window with Jade she began pestering me._

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:30 -- 

GG: hi dave! 

GG: hows karkat? 

TG: oh 

TG: you know 

TG: flailing about on the ground like a turtle stuck on its back 

GG: dave! thats not nice :( 

GG: why dont you help him up? 

TG: he can manage on his own 

TG: see 

TG: hes already up 

TG: im so proud of him 

_I glanced over to where Kark was now crouched, rummaging in his bag for something._

_As I watched a novel fell out and I saw the grey tie and plain title text of Fifty Shades of Grey._

TG: holy shit 

TG: is that 

TG: hahahaha 

TG: kark has the worst taste in books 

GG: whats he reading? 

TG: fifty shades of grey 

_"Holy shit man. Are you seriously reading that?" I gestured vaguely at the book on the floor just as its sequel joined it._

TG: and theres the sequel 

_"…yeah… what of it?" he was glaring dangerously and I felt my pulse jump and my trouser snake (damnit Bro) stir._

TG: hold on 

TG: im about to get some steamy hate sex 

TG: pester you when im done 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 17:00 -- 

_"Those are the worst books ever. I could write something better than that." I slipped my iphone onto the closest surface – the desk holding my turntables._

_"WHAT? No way! These are the best! Ana has the best character development!"_

_"Are you kidding me? She doesn't have character development, she has character regression. She goes from a semi-competent woman about to leave college to someone who thinks using someone else's tooth brush is 'naughty'." I scoffed._

_Kark had been advancing on me as I spoke, brandishing the well-read novel at me._

_"She's on a journey of self-discovery." He claimed, kneeling on the end of my bed._

_"Yeah, discovering her new fetishes." I countered, snatching the book from his hand. "At least it could be well-written, seeing as the plot sucks, but it even fails there. And that's not even starting on the clichés and cheesy lines." He opened his mouth to counter, but I stopped him by opening to a random page and reading from it._

_"_ _**'"Are you smirking at me, Miss Steele?" he cocks his head to one side, and I think he looks amused, but it's hard to tell. I flush and glance down at my unfinished breakfast. I can't look him in the eye when he uses that tone of voice.'** _ _So, she gets drunk for the first time and the next morning wakes up without a hangover and flirts with the unreadable, sexy, guy, who brought her home, over breakfast." Kark nodded, looking slightly amazed at my knowledge, and I continued my reading. "'_ _**I'd like to bite that lip." He whispers darkly.** _ **Oh my.** **_I am completely unaware that I am chewing my bottom lip. My mouth pops open as I gasp and swallow at the same time'._ ** _" Part of me wondered if that was even possible._

_My voice settled into a low, smooth tone and a steady beat as I kept reading and I watched in amusement as Kark flushed and began to fidget._

_"_ _**'Jeez, I'm a quivering moist mess, and he hasn't even touched me. I squirm in my seat and meet his dark glare.'** _ _" I looked up at Kark as I read one more line, watching closely as he blushed more and whispered the line along with me._

_"_ _**'Why don't you?** _ _' See? It's a piece of shit."_

_The book was crushed between us as he sprang, crashing his lips against mine with enough force that I hit my head on the wall behind me._

_I placed my hands on his thighs as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, but they soon slid around to cup his ass while he straddled my lap, pulling himself closer._

_I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, biting gently and he hissed in pain._

_"That still hurts from this morning, fuckass." He said, pulling my hair forcefully so he could speak._

_"Geez, okay, I'm sorry." My apology was insincere as behind my shades my eyes were narrowed in pain. "Now, will you let go of my luscious locks?"_

_"Will you leave my delicious lips alone?" He replied._

_I deliberated. The pain from my head was a bitch, but his lips were definitely delicious. They were as soft as marshmallows, but without the gooey insides._

_I sighed in defeat._

_"Fine."_

_He released his grip on my hair and I began to kiss my way down his neck, nibbling and sucking at some spots, leaving a trail of slowly purpling bruises behind me._

_He moaned gently as I reached a spot just above his collarbone, so I paid it particular attention, before switching to the same spot on the other side and making my way up his neck from there._

_"You know," I whispered as I reached his ear, "that Shades of Grey started as a Twilight fanfic." I licked up the side of his ear, sucking on the tip of it._

_"Yeah," He moaned gently and then continued, "but it's still a better love story."_

_I laughed breathily and he began to kiss me again, tenderly, clearly watching out for his lip, and I realised that this whole time he'd been making these little, unconscious, grinding motions against my crotch. Neither of us had felt them because our positions meant our jeans were stretched taut across our crotches creating a, for all intents and purposes, impenetrable barrier. These pants needed to go now._

_I pulled away from his mouth, and he turned his attentions to my neck and shoulders._

_"Vantass…." His name turned into a hiss of pleasure as his fingertips applied a gentle pressure to the bite mark from earlier._

_"Mhm?" He hummed against my other shoulder as his bit into it, sucking hard rather than just biting._

_"Vantas," I barely held back a moan as he sucked harder. "Karkitty." I moaned his name as he licked over the now-sensitive skin of the mark._

_Wait, shit. There was something I was supposed to tell him._

_I felt his hands slide up under my shirt and his hips jerk forwards a little._

_Hips. That was it._

_"Karcrab, pants." I gasped as his fingers tweaked one of my nipples gently._

_"…Pants?" He asked, pulling back to look at me incredulously._

_"Pants, off. Now."I was incapable of coherent thought beyond getting rid of these previously ironically skinny jeans._

_I pushed him backwards until he was lying in front of me._

_"Uh…" Kark flushed, turning impossibly red, as I fumbled with the button on his jeans._

_"Come on Kitkat." My shaking hands (ohgod, I need these pants off_ _ right now _ _) finally got the button undone and began working on the fly._

_"Lift your hips, babe." I waited for him to comply so I could discard the offending article of clothing._

_He bit his lips and hesitated. I could understand him wanting to think this over before we did something he regretted, but Jegus Christ I was about to lose feeling in my dick._

_"Karkitten?" I looked at him worriedly just as his face hardened in resolve and he lifted his hips for me._

_I smiled at him and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips as I shimmied his pants down._

_I stopped at his knees, noticing how tense he was. I ran my hands over his thighs, attempting to get him to relax. I didn't want him to do this if he didn't want to._

_"You okay Kark?" I ran my hands up, past his red briefs and under his shirt, caressing his sides reassuringly._

_"I… just do what you want." He flung an arm across his face and I'm pretty sure I saw a tear streak across his cheekbone._

_And… wow. Suddenly my pants weren't strangling me anymore._

_I looked at Kark, wonder what the hell I was supposed to do. He was definitely crying, his shoulders shaking and tears falling freely._

_"Shit. I'm sorry. Fuck. What should I do?" I wasn't panicking. Striders don't panic, but my boyfriend was crying, so a certain amount of flip out was allowed._

_I looked over him, trying to work out what triggered this. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his shirt riding up a little and he was trying to curl in on himself a little, pulling his bared knees to his chest._

_Wait. Knees. Pants._

_The pants._

_I straightened his legs gently, making soft, hopefully calming, noises the whole time, and began to inch his pants back up. I lifted his hips to get them on properly, and even did them up for him._

_"Wha-" He sat up a little, scrubbing at his eyes with a sleeve._

_"Sh-sh-sh" I pulled him against me and lay down on my side, just hugging him. "It's okay if you don't want to do things, just next time, tell me 'kay?"_

_He nodded meekly and hid his face against my chest. He reached out tentatively with his legs and I allowed him to tangle them with mine, smiling gently as he wrapped his arms around my waist in a vice-like grip._

_"Thank you Dave." He whispered._

_I reached around to wind the fingers of one hand in his hair, my other hand, first removing my shades and placing them somewhere they wouldn't get damaged, rubbing soothingly along his back._

_"No problem Karkitten."_

_"By the way, all your nicknames suck."_

_"What? Even Karcrab?" I feigned hurt._

_"Yep."_

_"What about Kitkat?"_

_He considered it for a moment._

_"That one's not bad…" he said, sleepily. "I like it." He yawned._

_"Kitkat it is." I smiled again and kissed him gently on top of his head as he drifted to sleep._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I can't write smut?
> 
> Also, can't HTML.  
> (Can anyone help with getting the pesterlog to actually look like a pesterlog??)
> 
> But.... yeah.  
> Hope you enjoyed.


	21. In Which Dave Tells His Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for some depressing backstory things.  
> I am so sorry.
> 
> Maybe some tissues would be a good idea?  
> IDK.  
> Depends how susceptible you are to crying during fics.
> 
> A trigger alert for Past self-harm and physical abuse.

I felt something soft pressing against my cheek and I attempted to swat it away.

“Nng, Daaave….” I complained, still half-asleep and swatting at the thing. “Dave… Geddit off.”

I heard a soft chuckle from across the room and a moment later the thing had been moved.

“Hey there, sleepy.” I cracked open on eye and saw Dave leaning over me, moving things around behind me.

“Whassa time?” I asked, rolling onto my back to stretch out, yawning.

“’Bout 10.” He finished moving things and sat down beside my legs.

“Shit. Why’d you let me sleep that long?” I sat up, staring him down angrily. I wasn’t gonna get back to sleep tonight and that meant I wasn’t going to get any work done tomorrow at school.

“You looked like you needed it.” He shrugged.

I couldn’t come up with a response so I settled with glaring at him.

“Aww, don’t be mad Kitkat.” He pouted at me, but it was soon replaced by a smile.

“Get your face over here, fuckass.” I said, pulling him in for a kiss.

As we kissed I let him pull me into his lap so I was straddling him.

I broke the kiss, gasping for breath, and looked across the bed, wondering what had been on me.

Half of the bed was covered with those weird glassy-eyed puppets made from an impressive array of coloured satin.

“…was I sleeping under those?”

“The smuppets? Yeah.”

“….why?” I asked, partially afraid of the answer.

“Somehow you ended up with one while you slept, then, a while ago when Bro came to ask when we wanted to eat, he decided you needed more.”

I felt my face heat up. I usually slept with a crab plush I’d had since… well, forever, so I was used to cuddling something while I sleep.

“Oh.”

“It was actually kinda cute. I think Bro likes you.” He was smiling again.

It was… weird. He was usually so stoic, seeing him smile so often... it was kinda unsettling.

“Dave…”

“Yeah, Kitkat?”

“Why are you so stoic at school?” I looked up at him, certain that my curiosity was written all over my face.

“I…” He hesitated, on the verge of telling me before he sighed and his shoulders slumped.

It took me a moment to realise that he’d been about to lie to me.

There were a few minutes of silence as he turned me in his lap and began playing with my hair, just thinking things over.

“…Dave?” I asked in a small voice. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d brought up bad memories.

“When I was younger I was bullied a lot.” He began talking, his voice distant as he remembered everything. “It only really started when I was 10 or so, when people began to fully see what a fucked-up freak I was.” I looked over my shoulder at him, only to have him pull my hair, gently enough that it didn’t hurt, to turn me back to face away from him. “Before then no-one cared about my eyes, they were just an unusual colour, no-one connected them to the genetic fuck-up both me and Bro have, but when I had my first crush, they became another reason for people to hate me.”

I recalled the moment earlier today when I’d seen his eyes, and their brilliant crimson colour.

“See, my first crush was on the kid who sat in the seat in front of me. I don’t even remember his name, just that he was left-handed and I loved his combination of wild red hair and calm blue eyes. Everyone could see that I liked him, well, everyone but him, and most of them didn’t like it. They used to wait for us –the older kids. They’d feign an attack at him so I’d defend him, and then they’d beat the shit out of me like they’d planned to.”

I looked at him and was surprised to see him frowning thoughtfully, not angrily or bitterly like I would have expected.

“The beatings made me want to become stronger, until I could hold my own against them. That year I started strifing with Bro, striving to achieve my goal. When they noticed I was getting better, taking less hits, they began with the insults. They started with the initial ones of ‘freak’ and ‘faggot’, not that I knew what it meant then, but freak didn’t bother me, ‘cause I already knew that I was one. But slowly they became more creative, and then occasionally they’d hit a nerve.”

“What does this have to do with your stoicism?” I blurted, instantly cursing my impatience.

“I’m getting to that.” His snapped.

I flinched automatically, used to the after-effects of my dad snapping.

“Sorry.” I murmured, and Dave began playing with my hair again, as a form of apology, I thought.

“Anyway, I used to very open as a kid, but that’s not unusual for little kids.  As I grew older I began to control my facial emotions, learning to keep things hidden, it was a thing I picked up from Bro, but my eyes were another matter. ‘Eyes are the window to your soul’. Everytime something got to me, my eyes would show it. So when they got a hit with the insults, they knew and they used it more. I began to hate myself. I’d begun helping them hurt me. When I turned 12 I’d been dealing with this, mostly alone as the kid had changed school pretty quick, for a year and a half, and as that year progressed my self-hatred grew and eventually I..” He swallowed audibly. “I began self-harming.”

I turned to him and saw he’d taken his shades off and his eyes were full of sadness and he looked like he was… pleading with me to not judge him. I offered him a sad smile. I knew what it was like to hate yourself for something that was entirely out of your control. I leaned into him, silently giving him my support.

“Bro picked up on it easily. There were a lot of cuts that were too regular, too even, to be from out strifes – by now we’d moved from fists to swords  - and one day he asked me about it.” Dave gave a harsh laugh. “He was real casual about it too, none of this ‘this is an intervention’ bullshit, we were just playing a video game and he said ‘How long’ve you been cutting?’ as if he were asking about the weather. It’s one of the things I like best about Bro. He doesn’t bull shit you, or make an overly big fuss about things.”

We sat for a few minutes in silence before Dave cleared his throat and finished his story.

“Obviously I came clean to Bro, told him all of it. The first thing he did was pull out one of his spare pairs of shades. He gave them to me saying ‘Don’t be afraid to hide behind something if you have to’. One of the best pieces of advice you’ll ever get from him. After that he packed all out shit up, unenrolled me from school, quit his job and moved us half-way across the fucking country, all just so I wouldn’t have to deal  those guys again.”

I curled up in his arms, both glad he had a happy ending, of sorts, and sad that he’d had to deal with all of that. Then a thought hit me.

“Why here?” I asked.

“What?”

“Why here? You could have gone anywhere. Why here?”

“For starters, our aunt lives here, Rose’s mum, and I knew Egbert lived here already, so it seemed as good a place as any.”

I nodded to myself, it made sense.

“What about you?” He spoke suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

“What do you mean, what about me?” I knew what he meant, but I was still absorbing his story, and wasn’t ready to tell mine, especially since it didn’t have an end yet.

“What’s your story? What’s with the flip out before? How did you become the Karkat before me now?”

I opened my mouth to come up with some excuse so I wouldn’t have to tell him, but was saved by my stomach growling angrily. I hadn’t eaten all day.

“Someone’s a hungry kitten.” Dave laughed.

“WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT? Just ‘cause my name has ‘cat’ in it doesn’t mean you can call me one.” I said in an attempt to cover the fact my face was steadily reddening.

“Hm… nah.” I glared at him, secretly enjoying the fact I could see the sparkle of amusement in his eyes. “As much as I would love to argue the point, babe, let’s introduce you to Cooking With The Striders.”

I groaned as I thought about what this would mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm planning another three or four chapters in this fic, but I plan on writing a sequel fic, maybe even a few of them.
> 
> Who knows?
> 
> Until then, keep enjoying the story, and I'm sorry that the backstories are depressing.
> 
>  **EDIT:** Okay, I went back and fixed up a semi-major inconsistency that I found, also coded the pesterlogs so they look like actual pesterlogs.


	22. In Which Dave Takes a Photo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so sorry that this has taken so long, I just got really lazy with the typing and all that.  
> But, this is about twice as long as the average chapter length for this thing, so woot!
> 
> Enjoy.

_“Hold on a mo.” I left Kitkat standing in the doorway as I went to investigate Bro’s pants status._

_I walked into the kitchen and saw Bro standing at the bench, one of many broken katanas in his hand, using it to cut carrots. He had a laptop set up in front of him and I could hear a faint English accent in the voice that was coming through the speakers._

_Ah. He was talking to Jake._

_I walked ‘round to Bro’s side of the bench, sticking my face into the tiny webcams range._

_“Hey Jake, long time no see, ‘ey? Can I borrow Bro for a second?”_

_“Ah! Dave! Just the lad I was wanting to speak to.” Jake ran his hands through his hair as I sighed._

_“Yes Jake?” I knew what was coming, he always wanted to say the same thing._

_“I just wanted to give you my deepest apologies about all that mess the other year. I must admit that I am utterly disgusted with myself after I let those… creatures get to me, and the fact I gave into their substance so easily….”_

_“Hey, man, it’s cool. I tell you everytime, it’s cool.”_

_Last year Jake had become addicted to a drug sold by people who called themselves ‘the cherubs’. I never found out the exact details of what happened, but I knew that one night when he was high something happened, and after that Bro gave him the decision of stopping the drugs, or breaking up with him. I didn’t find out what he chose, but I knew that they’d broken up, and it took months for Bro to function properly again._

_During the year they hadn’t been talking, I’d kept in contact with Jake through Pesterchum. Over time I found out just how much it killed him when Bro left, and how desperate he was to get him back, and I did my best to help, not that it worked a whole lot._

_“I know, but I’ll keep apologizing until I feel I have atoned.” Jake’s English accent pulled me out of my reverie._

_I nodded my acknowledgement and turned to Bro, who’d been watching our interaction with mild amusement, and interest._

_“Lil’ man, you wanted to talk to me?”_

_“Oh, uh, yeah.” I hesitated. “Jake, do you mind if I mute us for a minute?”_

_“Not at all, old chap.”_

_“Thanks.” I reached over and turned the mic off before turning back to Bro. “Now, before I bring Kark in here is there anything you don’t want eaten? I mean, I know what you don’t want eaten, but Kark doesn’t and if he asks about anything, I ain’t gonna say no to him. So, anything you want for yourself, move it now.”_

_Bro smirked and began flash-stepping around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, pulling out various packages and, at one point in time, dumping lil’ Cal on top of me._

_“Ha ha, very funny.” I said, tossing Cal aside as Bro reappeared after putting the food in his room._

_“Damn straight, lil’ man.”_

_“Also, I want the TV tonight and no strifes. That cool?”_

_“Only if I get the TV every other night this week and three strifes tomorrow.”_

_“Day after tomorrow and it’s a deal.”_

_After a moment of thought Bro held his fist out for a bump. I met him half-way and reached over to turn the mic back on._

_“By the way, I’m proud of you lil’man, for telling ‘Kat your story. That took guts”_

_He caught me off-guard , the way he said it so casually._

_“Uh…th-thanks.”_

_“My lil’ man’s growing up.” He pretended to sniffle._

_“Way to ruin the moment, Bro.”_

_He chuckled._

_“Go get back to your guy.” He shooed me as he turned the mic back on._

_“One mo. Thanks for that Jake. Now, as much as I would love to stay and chat, I have a Kitten to feed.”_

_“No problem, old chap. By the way, when did you two get a cat?”_

_“Maybe, if you behave, I’ll let you meet him.” I called over my shoulder._

_As I headed down the hall I noticed that the door to my room was closed._

_“I’m sure I left that open.” I mused to myself. “Ah well,” I shrugged. “Whatever.”_

_I rested my hand on the doorknob and briefly wondered if I should knock or not. I shrugged again, figuring it was my room so I shouldn’t have to knock._

_“Honey, I’m home.” I called jokingly, pushing the door open, just in time to see Karkat do a spectacular flip off the handle, and the end of the bed._

_“WHAT THE FUCK? IF A DOOR’S CLOSED KNOCK ON IT, DIPSHIT!”_

_“WHAT THE FUCK? WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING THAT?”_

_I kicked the door closed and stepped towards him._

_“Is it ‘international jerk off in Dave’s room while he’s out’ day or something? What the fuck’s up with that?”_

_He looked at me with a mix of embarrassment and anger._

_“Maybe if you didn’t leave your po-“ He cut himself off suddenly, covering his mouth with his hands and blushing more._

_“My what? I don’t have any…. God damnit Bro.”_

_I stepped over and sat on the end of my bed, looking over it to where Kark was slowly getting redder due to blood rushing to his head._

_“By the way, you look ridiculous.” I pushed his legs over the bed head, watching him flail to get upright, and pulled him to his feet by the sleeves of his over-sized turtleneck._

_“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He straightened up, pulling the bottom of his shirt down and grumbling about how I had stretched his sleeves. Even as he pulled at the hem, it wasn’t quite long enough to hide the erection he’d been indulging when I walked in._

_“Hey babe,” I said, interrupting his tirade._

_“Ugh, what?” he glared at me._

_One of my hands made its way to his hip, the other angling his chin up as I met his lips halfway in a kiss._

_“What the fuck Strider?” his words were muffled by my lips as I refused to stop kissing him._

_“No words. Just kissing.” My words were just as muffled as his, but it was worth it._

_I lapped at his bottom lip until he opened his mouth, allowing me entrance as our tongues began a battle of dominance. Soon the only sounds in the room were the aggressive little growls and grunts that made somehow only made things more erotic, and I wasn’t surprised when Lil’ Dave decided to stand to attention again, my pants almost reaching that ‘too tight to function’ level again._

_“Hey Kitkat…” I began, wondering why I only owned skinny jeans._

_“Mhm?” his lips were against my neck, and when he hummed…. Oh god did it feel good._

_“W-would you mind if my pants w-were to vacate the area?” I couldn’t be bothered trying to cover the way my voice shook._

_He looked up at me, cheeks bright red and brown eyes wide._

_I was about to tell him it was okay, that he didn’t have to, but he was already fumbling with the fly. I let out a slight moan as his hand brushed over Lil’ Dave while he began shimmying my pants down._

_“Why the fuck would you wear skinny jeans?” he growled as they caught around my thighs._

_“Irony mostly.” I shrugged, not letting him know I was equally frustrated at them._

_“I fucking swear, I will rip these things to shreds if they do not come off soon.” After a moment he continued speaking. “Fucking finally.” He tossed the jeans off to the side and stood slowly. “If I ever see you wearing a pair of those again, I will kill you.”_

_“No, babe, I need those pants.”_

_“Nope. I have decided that you, in fact, do not need pants.” He deadpanned._

_“I think I could go for that…. As long as the same thing applies to you.”_

_“If I don’t have pants I get cold, though.” He protested._

_“Yeah, no. If I’m banned from pants, so are you.” I grabbed him, wrapping my arms around his waist and sneaking my hands under his shirt._

_“No! Pants are important! I need –mmf!” I cut off his protests with a kiss. “Dave let me go.” He complained against my lips, pushing at my arms._

_I ignored his protests, knowing that if he actually minded he’d either be louder or shut down like he had earlier._

_I moved my hands down to squeeze his plush rump and, after he gave a muffled squeak. I lifted him, pulling him flush against my body, making him either cling to me or get dropped._

_I groaned appreciatively as he tightened his legs around my waist ad I stepped forwards so he was pressed against the wall and he began scrambling to get my shirt off. It didn’t take long for things to go wrong._

_“Ow. Kark, my arm doesn’t bend that way.”_

_“Maybe you should make it, fuckass. Quit your whining.”_

_“We need to backtrack some. Pull the back back down.”_

_“Why should I?”_

_I glared at him. Somehow he’d managed to pull the bottom of my shirt up onto my head, while getting my arms stuck in the sleeves._

_“Do you want to get fed tonight?”_

The man had a point.

“Ugh. Fine.” I feigned irritation, despite the fact I was giggling like a girl on the inside.

I flipped the bottom of his shirt back down and helped him de-sleeve his arms before I pulled it up again. This time, unsurprisingly, the shirt came off.

I scanned his well-muscled body as I discarded his shirt. There were lots of scars criss-crossing his chest, and I could feel more crossing his back. There was a row of evenly spaced scars down his left side, varying in length and severity, but they were all pale and faded. I ran my fingers over them lightly and he shuddered under my touch.

“Are these from….?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question.

He nodded, knowing what I meant and I swallowed audibly.

“There’s a lot…” a pained look crossed Dave’s face as he nodded. “I-I’m sorry. You’ve probably been through all of this before, but I just… I guess I want you to know I’ve been there too, so I won’t judge you or whatever the fuck it is people are afraid of other people doing. And now I’ve said that I feel obliged to tell you not to do it again and blah-de-fucking-blah, but really, I don’t care just as long as you tell me if you do so I can try and stop you if you start going too far and could you just fucking kiss me or something already so I’ll stop talking?”

He laughed as he kissed me, shutting me up.

“You are,” he pressed a kiss to my forehead, “the most,” another kiss, this time to the tip of my nose, “adorable thing when you worry about me.” He kissed my lips briefly, gathering the fabric of my shirt in his hands. “Mind if I get rid of this?”

I shook my head and he lifted the fabric over my head as I slid my arms out of the sleeves, resisting the urge to cross them over my chest to hide from his gaze.

He reached out and ghosted a hand over my all-too visible ribs.

“Woah, no wonder you’re so light.”

“Fuck off. Just ‘cause my dad’s a fuckass who’d rather waste all of his money on booze and cheap whores than food for him and his son doesn’t mean I don’t get my three meals a day, it just means I have to work for them, and they’re smaller than they should be.” I hated the way my shoulders hunched and my voice shrank as I spoke of dad, as if just mentioning him could bring him here. If he was here everything would go to hell. Seeing his only son in the arms of another guy in a ‘highly inappropriate way’… it hadn’t ended well before.

Of course, now I’d thought about it, that mental image had me panicking and pushing Dave away.

“Woah, woah, hold on Kitkat, I didn’t mean to offend you.” He said, resisting my attempts to separate us.

“Nope. Fuck you, Strider. Let me go.” I pushed at his chest and arms, even his face, but he wouldn’t let me go.

“I was trying to fuck you, but then this happened, like it did before.” He sighed as I kept pushing at him. “If I let you go will you explain?”

I stopped, thinking. He’d told me his story, it was only fair if I told him mine.

I opened my mouth to answer just as my stomach growled, my hunger having been forgotten in the favour of lust.

“Can I tell you while we eat?”

He nodded, placing me on the floor gently, but seeming reluctant to let go.

“Okay.” He nodded to himself and stepped back, grabbing his shades from the table next to his turntables.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. Knowing what I did now about why he wore his shades, I knew I’d fucked up badly.

“Don’t be Kitkat, it’s fine.”His smile was strained, even as he leant down to kiss me gently.

“Hmm… hey babe?” he cocked his head to one side, looking at me.

“…yeah…?” I said, feeling wary for some reason.

“Would you do me a favour?” he crossed the room and stooped to rummage through the bottom of what I assumed to be his closet.

“I guess…” I was wary, not knowing what was going on.

“Wear this for me.”  He pulled out what looked like an old shirt of his. The whole thing was white, not red-sleeved like the one he usually wore, and the record on it wasn’t scratched. And despite the face that it looked at least one size too small for him, it looked two sizes too big for me.

“Uh…”

“Please?” He pouted at me in a way that shouldn’t have worked, but did.

“Fine.” I sighed, grabbing the shirt and pulling it on, and instantly feeling ridiculous.

The neck line sat way too low for my liking, showing both my collarbones in all their slightly-too-defined-to-be-healthy glory. The sleeves, despite it being designed to be a tee-shirt, reached nearly to my elbows and the hemline sat mid-thigh on me.

I scowled at Strider and his expression could only be described as colon-three (:3).

“…I’m not gonna be allowed to take this off, am I?” He shook his head and stepped over to wrap me in his embrace.

“Can I take a photo?” he whispered, gesturing to an expensive-looking camera on his desk, which I hadn’t noticed before.

“…even if I say no, you’re gonna take it, aren’t you?”

“Yup.” I glanced at him and his expression hadn’t changed.

“I don’t know how I’ve managed to put up with you so far. Take your stupid picture.”

He grinned, holding the camera at arm’s length. I grumbled and looked away, waiting for the shutter noise that meant the photo had been taken.

“Hey Kitkat,” he called, and I made the mistake of looking at him.

“Wha-“ he kissed me, taking the photo at the same time and catching me totally off-guard.

“Goddamnit, Strider.” I growled, pushing out of his arms and stalking out of his room.

“you know you love me, babe.” He called as he trailed after me, only wearing his crow-patterned boxers and shades.

“No, I’m pretty sure I don’t.” I called back, semi-teasingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we discover just how much the author loves messing with everyone's sexy times.  
> (I'm so really ~~not~~ sorry)


	23. In Which We Learn About Karkat's Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooooly shit that was a long time coming.  
> I am so sorry, I got busy with life (I have a life, apparently).
> 
> I've actually had this written out for about a month or something, I just suck with typing it up, so, yeah.

I began to follow my nose down the hall, the enticing scent of a stew leading me.

I hovered at the edge of the kitchen, unsure whether I should step in or not, my mouth watering and stomach snarling.

“Is that for us?” I asked as Dave strutted past me.

“That? Hell no. That’s Bro’s. We gotta make our own.”

“’Kat can have some if he wants.” Bro called from his seat on the lounge, laptop balanced on his knees.

“Oh sure, when I ask it’s all ‘don’t be lazy, dipshit, get your own food’ but as soon as he asks it’s all ‘oh sure, have as much as you want’.”

“I didn’t say he could have as much as he wants, just some. No offence, ‘Kat, but with the way your body’s growling, you might eat it all.” He added, turning to me.

“’S cool.” I mumbled, blushing.

“Anyway, we’ll get our own food, right Kitkat?”

“Uh… I dunno… that smells pretty good…can I opt for both?” I suggested a half-way deal.

“It’ll be like a cooking show. He can mark us based on our food.” Bro voiced his approval.

“Bring it, Bro.” Dave began moving around the kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers, pulling things out before slamming them shut again.

“And no brownie points for the boyfriend.”

“No, all the brownie points for the boyfriend.” Dave countered, sparing a moment to kiss me.

“Nope. No brownie points, especially for you, fuck ass.”

“You know you’d love to fuck my ass.”

“Like you’d ever let him top.” Bro interjected.

“I could top him if I wanted!” I protested.

“Where’s your proof?”

“Hey, don’t you have an English to entertain?” Dave jumped in.

“He had an errand to run. He’ll be back soon.” Bro shrugged.

“Fair enough. By the way, something smells a little burnt up here.”

“Oh shit.” Bro jumped up, handing me the laptop as he passed. “When the call comes in, answer it, play nice and introduce yourself.”

“Hey, since when did you get to boss my boyfriend around?” I glanced to where Dave was cutting onions with what seemed to be a broken sword.

“Since he was meeting my boyfriend. What would you tell him to do?”

“Hey, Kitkat, when the call comes in… just…. Do what Bro said.”

Bro smirked at Dave.

“Sure, whatever.” I shrugged, sitting in the seat Dirk had vacated.

I sort of hoped that Dirk would be done before the call came in but, with my luck being what it is, the call came shortly after I sat down.

“Daaavee… Diirk… It’s ringing…” I said, watching the computer warily.

“Answer it, then.”  Dave smirked at me.

I glared at him and clicked the green button.

“I say, Dirk, normally you don’t….. you’re not Dirk.” The guy on-screen had the same messy black hair as Egbert and Jade, as well as the buckteeth, but his eyes were an emerald green, rather than Egbert’s blue or Jade’s lighter shade.

“No shit, Sherlock.” I snarled at the man.

“Well, it would seem that introductions are in order, then. I’m Jake English, Dirk’s….companion. I assume you’re a close friend of the Striders, considering that you’ve been entrusted with Dirk’s prized laptop.” He beamed, showing all his teeth.

“I guess you could say that. I’m Karkat. Dave’s… boyfriend, I guess.”

“Hmm… Karkat’s certainly an unusual name.” His brows creased in confusion before clearing as he exclaimed “Oh! I get it! ‘Karkat’ ‘kitten’” he laughed. “I had been led to believe that the Striders had adopted a feline of some sort.” He tilted his head back, still laughing.

“…Dave,” I growled. “Why the fuck did you tell him I was a cat?” I glanced over my shoulder to see Dave grinning at me.

“Do excuse me for a moment, Jake.” I placed the laptop on the seat next to me and stood, making my way over to Dave.

“Well Dave? Care to explain?” I stood in front of him, resting my hands on my hips.

“First off, I didn’t say it so much as imply it. But, your name does end in ’kat’ and you act like a cat a surprising amount.” He was still smiling, but now he had his hands held up in defence.

“Dave, you little shit!” I launched myself at him, trying to hit him but missing as he swayed out of the way. “You know he was surprised that I was human? Just ‘cause my name ends in ‘kat’ doesn’t mean you can tell people I am one! Fuck you!” I kept swinging my fists at him, feeling a weird urge to kiss his smug smile off his face. “Ugh. I hate you.” I pulled his face down, growling at the fact that he only let me grab him because he knew where this was going, and kissed him, biting down on his lip. I pulled away and watched as he licked the inside of his lip.

“Goddamnit. I’m bleeding again.” He tried to pull me back and kiss me again, no doubt to do the same to me.

“Serves you right.” I stepped away from him, turning and walking back to the couch, swaying my hips, knowing that Dave was watching my ass.

“Doesn’t make it not hurt.” He called.

“Aww, is poor widdle Davey hurt?” I said mockingly, leaning on the armrest to watch him. “Get over it.”

_I watched Kitkat as he sat down, pulling the laptop back onto his lap and resuming his conversation with Jake._

_I licked at the cut again. It’d already stopped bleeding and moved on to stinging like a bitch._

_“Fucking ow.” I muttered, and heard Bro snickering behind me. “What’re you laughing at?” I turned to him._

_“Nothin’” he replied, turning to his stew, adding some water and giving it a stir._

_I eyed him suspiciously from behind my shades as I chucked the onions I’d been cutting into a pan and began cooking them, the beginnings of a five-star bolognaise._

_As we cooked we pretty much ignored each other, as long as Bro wasn’t in my way, and I wasn’t in his, but I was slowly growing suspicious. Normally Bro began messing around with my food by now, just small things like adding a bit of salt, or turning the heat off, but as far as I could tell he’d done nothing. Because of these past experiences, I was constantly checking the stove top, making sure it was on, and I was tasting the now-simmering sauce every 5 minutes, while watching Bro everytime he moved slightly._

_“Problem, lil’ man?” He smirked._

_“Nope. No problem here.” I turned carefully, placing the pot of water I filled onto another burner to heat up._

_“You suuure?” he leaned against the bench casually._

_I grunted and stirred the sauce, tasting it yet again. It tasted just the way it should. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, and although it looked like he was spacing out, I knew he was watching me._

_As I watched he shook his head slightly, then whirled around, walking out of the kitchen to stand behind Kitkat._

_“Hey babe,” He said, leaning over and gently lifting the computer out of Kark’s hands._

_“Ah! Dirk! Finally. We’ll talk again sometime, ‘ey Karkat? Do you use Pesterchum? Get Dirk or Dave to give you my handle.” His voice crackled through the speakers as he was taken away._

_“Sure. Talk later, Jake.” Kark craned his neck as he said his goodbye, even though there was no way he’d be seen at that angle._

_Bro carried the computer to the dining table, setting it down and adjusting the screen’s angle so he’d be seen._

_“Nice to see you’ve made a new friend,” he smirked. I still stood in the kitchen, presiding over the multitude of pans I was using, jealous of the fact that he could sit down and relax as his stew…. Stewed._

_I watched Kitkat fiddling with the hem of his shirt, looking kinda lost.  
“Hey Kitkat.” His head snapped around to look at me questioningly. “Come here.” I beckoned with a single finger and, after sparing a moment to glare at me, he stood up and crossed the room to lean over the bench towards me._

_“What do you want?”_

_“I was thinking, since the promise of food has been made,” I gestured over my shoulder at the stovetop, “maybe you could tell me about your family?” his body stiffened as he looked at me warily._

_“There’s not much to know…” his shoulders hunched, and I felt an unfamiliar urge to just wrap my arms around him. “ But I guess I did promise…”_

_I turned away, partially ‘cause I was finding it difficult to see Kitkat so… afraid, and partially ‘cause the water was now boiling, so I had to put some pasta in. When I turned back Kitkat took a deep breath and began._

_“You know how you always see these families, the mum, dad and the kid, and they’re always happy and having a great time? That’s pretty much what our family looked like. Dad was the prefect father, mum the perfect wife and I was the cherry on top of it all. But as soon as there was no-one around, all hell broke loose. There wasn’t violence, but there was a lot of shouting, slamming doors and we had a fair share of storm-outs. Mum and Dad argued a lot. Mostly about how much dad drank, how he was turning into an alcoholic, how he’d drink himself to death, but y’know, no-one’s perfect. Mostly it didn’t bother me. I had a music player and I read lots, so when the shouting started I’d just drown it all out with my music and lose myself in a book. When I turned… 7, I think, I found out mum was pregnant. I was so psyched. I thought that maybe, just maybe, they’d stop arguing, for the baby’s sake or something, but the opposite happened. The arguments got worse, I guess ‘cause of hormones or whatever, but mum didn’t back off when she normally would and dad started going out more, not coming home til late, well, early, really. But things really got worse when the baby was due. Mum’s waters broke – scared the crap out of me ‘cause what 8-year old knows hoe pregnancy works? – and then we were all rushing to the hospital. I remember dad passed me his phone and told me to call Kankri, God I bitched about that, but I called him, and when we got to the hospital he was there, waiting for us. But that’s not the bad bit. The birth went badly. I remember sitting there for hours, not knowing what was going on. Dad was in the room with mum the whole time, and Kankri went in and out, alternating between finding out what was happening and supervising me. I think we were there for nearly 12 hours. I dunno. I was reading the whole time. I knew things weren’t working out the way they should have been, but…. I had such faith in the doctors that I believed that mum’d be fine, the baby too. Anyway, at one point dad came back out of the room, crying, and Kankri just looked at him and asked ‘both?’. Dad just nodded and walked over to hug me. One of the scariest things I’ve ever seen was my dad crying.” He stopped talking and scrubbed at his eyes where tears had been pooling._

_“I don’t remember him hugging me before that, definitely not after.” He shrugged philosophically. “The funeral was a few days later – both for mum and the baby. I know there aren’t usually funerals for still-borns, but dad insisted, so it happened. God, the poor kid. Didn’t even get a name, not that she’d have been aware of even that much. Few weeks later, dad turned to drinking. He was coming home later and later, I didn’t care. Whenever he was sober enough to remember he had a kid he went out and came back with a pantry’s worth of ramen, and I could cook that, so I was set. A few months and he’d started bringing home cheap whores. I turned back to my music, only hiding from a different noise this time. I would have been 9, maybe 10 when he first kicked me out. First time, it was just one night, but sometimes it’s been up to a week, but that first night, I cried my heart out. I hadn’t cried like that since the funeral, haven’t cried like that since.”_

_At some point while he’d been talking I’d made an unconscious(okay, semi-conscious) decision to make my way around the bench and hug him while he spoke, tears dripping slowly onto my chest._

_“Didn’t you day you normally stayed with Kanaya? When’d that start?”_

_“We met on the very first day of school. Her vocabulary was practically the entire fucking dictionary, and that was at the age of 6.” He gave a small laugh, ending on a sniff. “By the time we were 10, we were best friends. She’s my oldest friend, and the only friend who even met my mum, who knew what she was like. So, when we were 10 she knew me well enough to look at me and know that something was wrong. She was a social master though, and didn’t ask straight out. She waited until she’d pieced the story together somewhat, even though I know it hurt her to see me suffer like that. But she caught on quickly. After a month she extended me an offer of hospitality whenever I needed it. She claimed her mother had pressured her to offer it, but I’m pretty sure it was the other way around. The first few times I stayed with them I about as skittish as a scared cat, but I got used to it. Now her place is a second home to me, her mum a second mum. Dad’s still my legal guardian, though, so I have to go home more often than I’d like.” I looked down at him, so tiny and sad. “I still go home whenever I can, even though I hate it. I have to make sure dad eats things. If it weren’t for me he’d have died of starvation long ago. I pretty much support him, even though it should be the other way around.” He straightened up a little, as if remembering how much he does for his dad made him stronger._

_“Man… I thought I had a hard life…”_

_“You did. It was just hard in different ways to mine.”_

_I looked down at Kitkat’s tear-stained face and kissed him before turning and pulling him with me back into the kitchen. I stepped to the stovetop and stirred all the pots, making sure nothing was burning, then I turned to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses and opened the fridge, pulling out some of my precious aj and filling the glasses. As I turned back to give one to Kitkat I noticed that Bro wasn’t in the room anymore and I briefly wondered just when he’d left._

_“Hold on, that doesn’t explain why you flipped out before.”_

_“Oh.” He deflated again. “Well, when I realised I was gay I told my dad. He freaked, but I just figured he was drunk, so I didn’t really pay attention to it. ‘Bout a week later I brought my boyfriend at the time over, Roger, and we were just chilling, playing games and shit. But then we started making out, and I was all cool with it and I didn’t hear the front door open, telling me that dad was home and drunk as all hell. He stormed in, already pissed for whatever reason, and then he saw me, his only son, getting his mack on with another guy. When he sees this he doesn’t apologise and walk away, no, he makes as if he’s going to fucking murder him, so I kinda jumped in the way so he could get away and I faced my dad down. Ended up with 3 bruised ribs and a broken one, not even including the other bruises I got. So now… I’m just hyper aware of what could happen, who could walk in whenever something like that is happening and sometimes I just… I can’t. I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.” He looked down at his feet when he finished, and he looked ashamed._

_I needed to do something to fix this._

_“Well, we’ve got time to fix that now.” I began to kneel slowly, hoping he’d let me help him get over his fear._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we go.  
> The next chapter will be the last one of this fic, but I have at least another two fics planed in this series, so keep an eye out for those.


	24. In Which Dave Finally (Finally) Gets Some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Awkward first-time smut!  
> (Be gentle with me)
> 
> Also, this is the last chapter of this story, but not the last in the series.  
> I have at least another two fics planned here, so keep an eye out for those.  
> However, I'm not going to post anything for the next few months as end of year exams are coming up and I really should be studying.  
> After that, however, get ready for another story.
> 
> I'll shut up now, but enjoy this for now, and I'll see you on the other side of exams.

“Dave, what the fuck are you going on about?” it was pretty damned obvious what he was going on about, by the way he was licking his lips.

“Well, you have an irrational fear of your father finding out about this, yes?” He tilted his head up to look at me.

“It’s not irrational, okay? It’s a legitimate fear.” I looked down at him, getting ridiculously turned on just at the sight of him down there, apparently still looking at me, although I didn’t trust that his shielded eyes weren’t wandering.  “And can you get rid of your fucking shades? Its really fucking unnerving, not being able to see your eyes.” I was nervous, and defensive because of that.

“It is an irrational fear, and you know it. If we don’t tell him, which I have no intent of doing, after hearing your story, and I’m sure you have no plans of telling him, and there’s no way he’d get in here without us knowing, there’s no way he’d be able to stop us, so it is irrational.” He responded, running his hands over my thighs.  “And why is it so unnerving now? You were fine with it before.” He still seemed to be looking at me, but I doubted he actually was, considering the slowly growing tent in my underwear. 

“’Cause now I don’t know if you’re looking at me, or my dick.” I snapped as he laughed.

“Is that all? Here, there they go.” He pulled his shades off and tossed them onto the bench beside my hand and made eye contact while he continued stroking my thighs.

“D-dave, are you really going to do this?” I murmured, my voice losing its strength as he nuzzled against my dick. “D-dirk’s still-“

“Bro left like five minutes ago.” He cut me off, looking up at me.

I glanced around the room and confirmed that Dirk had indeed left at some point.

“Fuck all you Striders.” I couldn’t believe that Dave had noticed him leave while I hadn’t.

“I’m gonna have to veto that. I don’t like sharing with my brother.” He smirked like he was joking, but his eyes showed that he was serious. “So, are you gonna let me do this?” he rubbed his cheek against the slowly growing damp spot on the front of my underwear and all I could do was moan and nod.

He hooked his thumbs into the waistband and began inching them down, pausing just before he pulled them off my dick.

“You ready for this, babe? Ready for some hardcore Strider mouth action?”

“Do you ever shut up?” I growled. “Just… hurry the fuck up.”  

“Yes, sir” he said sarcastically, flipping the elastic over my dick and sliding the underwear all the way down to my ankles.  “Well hello there gorgeous.” He breathed as he eyed the erection in front of him.

“God damnit, Strider.” I blushed, turning away from him as he proceeded to introduce himself to it.

His hands squeezed my hips slightly before he shifted them to grip my ass and he began massaging it.

“Mmm, I love this ass.  I could worship this ass in church, that’s how great this ass is.” He kept massaging my ass as he went on about how great it was, occasionally placing a kiss somewhere on my thighs.

“St-strider, you’re such a f-fucking tease” I growled as he kissed his way up my thighs and around my crotch, all the while skilfully avoiding touching the needy dick that was now weeping pre-come.

“Ever heard of a thing called foreplay?” he asked rhetorically as he lifted the hem of my shirt to kiss my chest.

“Have you ever heard of a thing called put your fucking mouth on my dick before I kill you?” I snarled, getting impatient.

“I’m sorry, but I only have my regular mouth here.” He grinned as I growled wordlessly.

“Strider. You better- oh f-fuck.” I grabbed the bench top violently as he kissed my inner thigh, causing my legs to turn to jelly.

“Better, your highness?” He asked sarcastically, though some of the sarcasm was lost in the huskiness of his voice.

My reply was lost to a moan as his mouth returned to my leg and then, finally, he licked a long stripe up the side of my dick.

_I looked up at him as I finally licked his dick, and he was watching me, eyes half-lidded and hazy with lust. While he was watching me I very slowly and deliberately licked my lips, watching his eyes slide shut and relishing in the low moan that he released._

_I spent a moment just wondering how the fuck this shit works. Do you just suck it? Is there more to it than that? I’d never done this before and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I didn’t want to fuck this up, especially since Karkat seemed to need this._

_I pressed a succession of kisses to his thighs, hips and navel, essentially stalling, and even though he gave a low moan each time, I could tell he was getting over it._

_“Strider…” he growled warningly, and I barely held back a moan of my own. He sounded so fucking sexy in that instant, and I found myself just watching him as he gasped for breath and glared at me. “Take a photo, it’ll last longer.” I blushed as I realised what I’d meant to be a quick glance had turned into a long moment of staring at this sexy boy stretched out above me._

_“Says he who was gawking at my chest earlier.” I smirk, ducking my head to lick another long line along his dick, turning any response he’d make into a strangled moan._

_“ D-Dave..” he moaned, letting go of the bench with one hand to run his fingers through my hair._

_I looked up at him, making and keeping eye contact as I welcomed the first inch or so of his length into my mouth. I felt his legs give a little as he hurriedly put his hand back on the bench to keep himself upright._

_I took a little more in and swirled my tongue around the head, somewhat awkwardly, while I watched his back arch._

_“Dave... I’m so close.” I moaned softly to let him know that I understood, and I attempted to take him further into my mouth, only to end up pulling off so I wouldn’t gag._

_“I know babe, I know” I stroked his dick gently while I took a breather, then I took the head back into my mouth, quickly working out a rhythm between the bobbing of my head and the movement of my hand._

_“Dave, I’m nearly there. Dave. Davedavedave…” he babbled, his head tipping back and his back arching further in ecstasy._

_I rocked back on my heels, looking up at him, speaking to him through his climax. “I hear ya babe, now come for me. Come for me Kitkat.” I’d seen enough porn, and read enough slashfics to know that that was what you’re supposed to say._

_“Dave!” he cried my name, short and sharp, as he came, as if it was torn from him._

_He sagged back against the bench, panting and completely spent. I stood slowly, taking the time to admire him in all his post-orgasm glory. His eyes were closed, and his cheeks were red, but a small, satisfied smile was on his lips._

_“Did you tell me to come for you?” He laughed, not opening his eyes._

_“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”_

_“You could have said Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and I would have.” He opened his eyes and smirked at me. “You’ve uh… got a little something on your face.”_

_“Oh, I know.” I grinned at him, darting my tongue out to lick some of his come off my chin as I placed my hands on his hips and leaned down to kiss him._

_“Ah! No!” he protested weakly, pushing at my shoulders. “You’ll get it on me.”_

_“Well then, I should go clean up.” I winked at him, heading towards the bathroom to clean up._

_“Dave..”  he called softly, and I turned back to him, just as he sagged forwards._

_“Woah there Kitkat.” I jumped towards him, catching him just before he hit the ground, swinging him into my arms bridal-style. “You okay babe?” he looked like he was about to pass out._

_“Forgot to eat.” He grunted, relaxing into my arms._

_“That’s not cool, Kitten.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, bitch at me when I wake up.” He waved his hand weakly and yawned._

_I huffed out a laugh as he fell asleep, and carried him through to my bed, lying him on it and fishing around on my floor for a pair of boxers to put on him. I found a relatively clean pair and slid them onto him._

_“Night Kitkat.” I whispered, flipping the light switch off on my way out, stopping off at the bathroom for a wash cloth on my way back to the kitchen._

_When I exited the hall Bro was back on the couch, aimlessly channel surfing, barely glancing at me as I scrubbed at my face and chest._

_“Get topped lil’ man?”_

_“Only to prove a point to a douche.” I shot back, entirely unfazed. I finished cleaning myself off, tossing the cloth into the sink and stirring every pot on the stove quickly._

_“Don’t leave that in the kitchen.” Bro called._

_“Yes, Bro.” I sighed, grabbing the cloth and heading back to the bathroom to put it in the laundry hamper._

_“And congrats.”_

_I felt a smile spread across my face as I walked away._


	25. Families

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all the familial relationships are explained (for those who were wondering)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Just wanna say a quick thankyou for the continued views, favorites, follows and reviews. I have been very inactive with this story recently, but THERE IS MORE ON THE WAY! For now, though, here's an explanation of the family relationships.  
> Some of them may not make sense, but that's because I was just like 'I want x and y to be related' so I made it happen.  
> I did spend a lot more time on the strilondes and the english/egbert/harley/crockers than the rest, but they're a) more complex families, and b) more central than the others.  
> And it may not look like there's a lot for the Vantas family, but that's because it's all in the story (I can't remember the chapter though, sorry)  
> So read this, enjoy it and keep an eye out for the next part of the Davekats  
> :)  
> (Oh, and in a day or so I'll put a thing about nationalities and appearances of the (main) characters because I realised I left that stuff out cause I suck)

**Family Relationships**  
 **Megido-Captors:**  
                Damara and Mituna had a fling once which resulted in Damara having twins. Mituna then had his accident (details to come later) and died shortly after, leaving Damara to raise both Aradia and Sollux.

** Zahhak-Maryams: **

                Horuss and Porrim got married young and had Equius. A year later Porrim fell pregnant again, with Kanaya this time, but Horuss realised he didn’t love Porrim anymore and they split, Horuss moving out and leaving a heavily pregnant Porrim and a young Equius behind.

** Pyrope-Serkets: **

                Latula and Mindfang are sisters, Aranea and Vriska are Mindfang’s children while Terezi is Latula’s. People suspect that Mituna is Terezi’s father, but Latula claims that she was drunk and doesn’t know the father. Vriska and Aranea’s father is in the air force and they don’t see him often.

** Ampora-Peixes’: **

                Cronus and Eridan are Dualscar’s sons. Meenah is the Condensce’s daughter. Cronus and Meenah dated in highschool and one night after a party they drunk-fucked which resulted in Fef’s conception, so even though Eri and Fef are the same age, Eri is Fef’s uncle. Dualscar nearly disowned Cronus over this while the Condensce just said ‘congrats’.

** Makara-Lejions: **

                Kurloz and Meulin met while Kurloz was on holiday in France. They got married after a few years and had Gamzee, then later Nepeta.

** Nitrams: **

                The Summoner had Rufioh and Tavros with Momnitram.

** Vantas’: **

                The Signless had Kankri and Momvantas. Momvantas married Jack Noir and hat Karkat. The rest is summed up in the story.

** Strilondes: **

                Dave and Dirk are brothers and Roxy is their aunt on their Mom’s side. Rose is Roxy’s daughter.  
Dave and Dirk’s mom died giving birth to Dave, so he doesn’t remember her (duh) while Dirk does (he was 16 at the time). A few years later Dirk moved to New York to go to college, staying with Roxy and a nearly 2-yo Rose so he didn’t have to worry about getting a job and paying rent.  
During the winter of that year (just after Dave’s birthday) Dadstri’s car skidded off the road on the way between his work and Dave’s daycare. He was in ICU for 2 weeks, everyday of which Dirk spent beside him holding Dave. After the second week he succumbed to his wounds. The funeral was a low-key affair and over quickly, so the biggest issue was what to do with Dave. Multiple people, both Dirk’s and Dadstri’s friends, suggested putting him up for adoption, but Dirk wouldn’t let that happen. He knew that looking after Dave and getting through college would be hard but he was determined to make it work. For the next few years Dirk managed to make it work and Rose and Dave grew up more like siblings than cousins, but Roxy got offered a job in a small city in Washington, and she took it, moving herself and Rose out there and letting Dirk keep the NY house. When Dave turned 7 Bro started up his smuppet business to earn a little more money to get Dave some cool things. That was also the year that Dirk started learning how to use a sword and flash-step**. Most of their life was uneventful. Dirk had finished college with a degree in engineering and mechanics and began making little robots to play around with. They stayed in frequent contact with Rose and Roxy, both Dave and Rose excelling at school. While Dave learned normal things in school he learned how to be a smartass at home, and he began writing raps which Dirk helped him record (Dirk had been DJing as a hobby for years, since Dadstri had taught him, and at this point he began teaching Dave too). Then the bullying incident occurred and they moved away from NY to the same place Roxy had gone to work. Dirk bought an old, run-down house with some of the money from selling the NY place (the rest he gave to Roxy as it was her place originally) and slowly fixed it up with money he had saved and earned from his smuppet industry and occasional DJ jobs. By now the inside of the house is as good as any penthouse suite, but the outside looks very plain and not-worthwhile as a deterrent to burglars. The most Dirk does to the outside is mow the lawn (It’s too hard to strife in long grass)  
No-one apart from Roxy knows who Rose’s father is and she likes to keep it that way. Everything in their life has gone fairly smoothly and they’ve never hit any major problems. Roxy currently works as one of the lead programmers for an up-and-coming technology company, but loans her skills out for, in her mind, ‘more fun’ hacking side-projects.

**The reason Dirk started learning sword skills is because one day after dropping Dave off at school he came home to find a guy robbing their house. He was KO’d by the guy, even though he tried to put up a fight, and when he came to he found a lot of their small but expensive trinkets were gone. He learned to fight so he could protect himself and Dave and has done a pretty good job of it.

** Harley-Crocker-Egbert-Englishs: **

                They all share a dad (for simplicity I’ll call him Dadbert), Jade and Jake have one mom while Jane and John have a different one. Jade and Jane use their respective moms names of Harley and Crocker while John uses Dad’s name and Jake refuses all names.  
Jade and John live with Dadbert, Jane with Momcrocker and Jake on an island littered with ancient temples which he explores for a job.  
Jake is the oldest(24) with Jane and John being the middle children (twins) and Jade being the youngest (but only by a few months).  
Dadbert had an unwise encounter while away on a business trip while he was married to Momharley, which resulted in John and Jane. When Momharley found out she was already several months pregnant with Jade, so she stayed temporarily, but insisted on sleeping in another room. A few months after Jade was born Momcrocker showed up with the twins begging Dadbert to take them. He couldn’t ignore her pleas and so he took them in despite the fact his wife did not want them around. Shortly after Momharley left unannounced, leaving a note stating that she’d wanted to take Jade and Jake with her but thought it better that they grew up in a stable ‘proper’ family.  
She came back every few years and spent a few days with them to see how they were growing up, and after a while she and Dadbert were able to be friends, even if she still doesn’t appreciate having John and Jane around. Over time Momharley’s visits have become more infrequent as Jade and Jake have learned how to use technology to keep in touch. Now they Skype at least once a week and Momharley doesn’t visit but sends presents for their birthdays.  
John and Jane didn’t know their mom, and Momharley, though unwelcoming of them, was the closest they’ve known. Jane has always been more mature than John and took the rejection better than he did as he never really understood it. When they were ten Momcrocker contacted Dadbert asking if she could meet John and Jane, so he invited her for dinner so she could. Jane fell in love with her instantly while John was wary. Momcrocker spent the next few years making irregular visits as she moved around a lot but just after the twins turned thirteen she bought a house in the next town over and invited them to live with her. Both she and Dadbert left the decision up to the twins, giving them time to think and not pressuring them. John had grown more comfortable around Momcrocker, but insisted that Jake, Jade and Dadbert were his family too and so stayed with them while Jane chose to live with Momcrocker. John, Jade and Jane have bi-weekly Skype calls and every month they have a movie night, alternating between Momcrocker and Dadbert’s houses to hold it. Momcrocker is much more welcoming of Jade than Momharley was of John and Jane.


End file.
